THE WASTE OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER

A long time ago, in a theater 869.2 miles away, I saw a movie.... I laughed, I cried, I kissed three bucks goodbye... my faith in good was renewed... But what happened to my villain?

THE WASTE OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER

Unlike a lot of you here, I remember 1977, and its sequels, 1980 and 1983. I saw movies those years, movies that changed my outlook on life forever.

In 1977, I met Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Han Solo, Chewbacca, and Princess Leia. People who were good. Oh, Han was a bit of scoundrel but he was brave and had a good heart.

And there was the unknown Mr. Skywalker, Senior. He didn't even have a first name. But he was once a Jedi Knight, just like Obi-Wan. So that crazy old hermit Ben Kenobi wasn't so crazy after all. He'd been a Jedi Knight.

For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were guardians of peace and justice in the old Republic... from that moment I was hooked. There were heroes out there, Knights that were somehow special, for they had the power of the Force, and they'd survived for a THOUSAND generations. Incredible.

Then there was THE EMPIRE! And the meanest, baddest, most evil villain to ever cross the silver screen... Darth Vader. He was dark, and cruel and menacing. He had a mysterious past.

He was a student of mine, until he turned to evil... Oh, so something terrible must have happened. Something so horrid and unspeakable that it drove a Jedi Knight to do such evil things that Obi-Wan was forced to hunt him down and cast him into a volcano.

In spite of my instant adoration of all things Jedi, I thought Vader was the coolest bad guy EVER! He was scary. And his redemption in the end was touching, as became a person again, a person named Anakin Skywalker. And his death was fitting, for how could he have lived with himself knowing the things he'd done?

The came the prequels.

We were given the Jedi Knights in all their glory, and it was better than I'd ever dreamed of! But where was the mysterious, evil Anakin Skywalker that was so twisted that he turned to the dark side of the Force?

He was home whining on his wife's shoulders...Obi-Wan and the council don't trust me (they won't let me join in any Jedi games)... he whines, and Padme soothes him... there's nothing wimpier than a grown man who has to be placated by his wife.... His mother must have nursed him until he was two....

But I digress!

What happened to the terrible, horrible things that must have happened to him to drive him into the depths of the dark side? War horrors or other atrocities, brainwashing, cloning, torture, brain damage.... Something, for crying out loud!

But we'll never know, because instead of a Jedi Knight, we got a whiny, aggravating wimp for Anakin Skywalker. The mysterious and heroic father that Luke so longed to know about was nothing more than a weasel.

OK, before everyone jumps in and reminds me that Luke did a fair amount of whining in the OT, let me point out that Luke was a miserable, unhappy teenager living on the planet furthest from the bright center of the universe while Anakin was, supposedly, a fully trained Jedi Knight, a leader of troops, a war hero... old enough, or at least he thought, to be married and make babies, and be a Jedi Master at an age when most Jedi are still Padawans.

Oh sorry, I'm digressing again...

Oh, finally, we get to see the true Darth Vader, as he marches on the Temple and kills small children... this is the baddie we love to hate... but somewhere along the line GL expects us to feel sorry for him.... "The Tragedy of Darth Vader" to use his own words... There's even a bit of a cult following of men who admire Anakin and women who want him...

But a tragedy is something that happens to someone who is innocent, someone who does not bring disaster on himself, not someone who twists words and actions around to suit his own selfish desires. If Anakin had been strong, and manly, and somehow turned to the dark side against his will, perhaps while performing some heroic act, then it would have been a tragedy. Then the man in the black armored suit would have made more sense.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the prequels, because of Obi-Wan and his inherent goodness, because of all those lightsabers....because I'd been given the Jedi Knights in all the glory I'd dreamed of all those years.

But I feel like I was cheated out of my villain...