Dear Santa,
Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder... sometimes absence brings the heart and mind a little peace... like the absence of loud stereos in cars on my street, or the absence of junk mail...
And if you're going to do junk mail, Santa, how about wiping out all the spam, scams, chain letters and phony prayers that clutter my email?
I know you can't get rid of all the commercials on TV, but how about we never have to see another ad for diet pills, male enhancement products or the Video Professor?
If I never see another offer for "identity theft protection" it'll be too soon... trust me, there's nothing to protect... no one would want my identity!
I'd also like, and this is not just for me, but for everyone.... the absence of monster and horror movies from the Sci-Fi channel... wait, don't even get me started there...
Santa, please take all those people who think Star Wars is just for geeks and lock them up at the south pole...I know everyone here would appreciate it...
Thanks Santa, I'll try to be good enough the rest of the year to deserve all this, but if I slip up and shove a bell down a bell-ringer's throat will you forgive me?
Love,
Granny
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