My Goodbye to Blogging

At least on Star Wars Dot Com. Why? Because I took exception to Karen Traviss, the author of several clone novels, calling the Jedi Nazis and slave owners.

She also insulted Star Wars fans, said reading was boring, but then went on to wonder about the effect on kids. Calling reading "boring" is a good effect to have on kids? Excuse me?

Well, she's the root of the problem, but the MAJOR PROBLEM is Dark Moose! His head is so far up her butt that one has to believe they're living together.

So I've been banned permanently. Moose has been itching to do this since 2006. He is totally out of control, a power freak of Palpatinian proportions!

He says I "flamed" her... OMG, SHE'S the one who brought up Nazis and slave owners... in published comments! When someone does that, they are opening themselves up to criticism!

My young Padawan, Qui-Gon Reborn, was also banned for posting the links to Traviss's remarks. I am puzzled how Moose justifies this, since they were merely links. In no way did she exaggerate with Traviss said. She took exception to the remarks, as I did, and I think we were justified in our outrage.

How Lucasfilm can support an author who knocks the fans and a major part of the franchise, merely in order to promote her own, tiny little piece of the saga, and her warped agenda, is beyond me.

Will I miss it? I suppose so. It's been a haven for me for over two years. I've met some of my closest friends there.

I can keep blogging here, without fear of censorship, but who's going to read it? Probably no one!

I'm going back into my hut to pout now.

This isn't a well written entry, but I'm ranting...

Thank You, Obi-Wan, But I'm Here for the Mayhem!

"We're here for rescue, not mayhem," Obi-Wan said in Ep. III.

But even a Granny has her dark side. And I've found mine in "Star Wars Galaxies."

Let me explain something... I don't own a gaming system, I'm not good at games that take thumbs... I've played on my grandsons' games before, and I stink at it... those controllers are not made for people with carpal tunnel problems!

So, when everyone was oohing and aahing over The Force Unlashed, I got jealous and decided to try out the two-week free trial of SWGalaxies... By the Force, that game is addicting!!!!!!!

I'm a Jedi, of course... and once I reached Level 26 and got my first lightsaber, I've been practicing mayhem all over the place... It doesn't seem very Jedi-like, but it's FUN! I even got to kill Gungans! (Die, Jar-Jar, die!)

And I've killed battle droids, gang members, slavers, assassins, bounty hunters, womp rats, rock kreetles, sand mites, things that go bump in the night.... Bad guys of all species... good thing I'm not a pacifist...or a vegetarian...

Then there were the genetically altered arachnids... Brood #1 started out with bugs the size of a bicycle... by the time Brood #5 came around they were the size of monster trucks and the queen the size of a small Tatooine house...

I have a house on Tatooine that makes my house on Earth look tacky...

So, as much as I hate to disagree with my beloved Obi-Wan, I'm here for the mayhem. I can't wait until I get to kill some Mandos...

I'm up to level 55... I'll report in when I reach 90... then *I* will be the Master.

Broccoli and Green Peppers... Not Going to Happen!

It was 1977...a long time ago, in a theater far, far away... a kindly old man with sparkling blue eyes calmly uttered the words that ignited a fire in my imagination. For over a thousand generations the Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic. Before the dark times. Before the Empire.

The Jedi. The Force. The Force is what gives a Jedi his power. It's an energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us, penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together.

All my life I'd struggled with the inability to have faith in anything I couldn't see or touch. I accepted the possibility of almost anything being possible, but while not disbelieving, I couldn't accept anything on blind faith.

So there before me was the idea of a higher power that one could touch, and feel and use... and heroes with the power to do wonderful, good things...to protect and serve, so to speak. That kind and wise old man sacrificed his life to save others, and he did it without fear or regret.

Then came Master Yoda. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. Yoda taught us that anger, fear and aggression were bad, and the power of the Force should only be used for good. The idea of inner peace was irresistible.

Then a mature, heroic Luke Skywalker saved Darth Vader from the dark side and caused the destruction of the evil Emperor. The Empire crumbled; people were freed, good triumphed over evil. A Jedi was willing to die for what he believed in. I went to see the movie over and over because it made me feel so good.

At my workplace, we tagged anyone who was particularly good at their job as being '"Jedi." We kept a Yoda figure on the computer so the Force would be with us! When I was calm in a crisis, my boss would say I was like a cool breeze of the Force.

The Jedi are heroes. I like my heroes to be good guys. Is it some damn fool idealistic crusade? Possibly. But it's fiction. It's a fantasy world. It gives us hope that good things can happen, even in the face of evil. I'm quite cynical in real life; I don't need it in my entertainment.

So, what do have against the Mandolorians? Nothing in general. I see them in the GFFA along with Bothans, Duros, Hapans, Mon Calamarians, Ithorians, Sullastans, etc. Each could be the basis of an interesting story, but none of them are a major part of the story line like the Jedi are. (The Clone Wars story line would have been the same if the clones had been Corellians or Chandrilians or some previously unheard of group, so don't even go there.)

What I don't like is having them shoved in my face at every possible opportunity. They just aren't that important. They're like broccoli... not particularly pleasant, but an occasional change of pace from string beans... but I don't want an entire head of it, and I don't want it at every meal. It's boring.

And, I don't see why it has to be served with such anti-Jedi sentiments. That's like green peppers... no apparent nutritional value and they leave a bad taste in my mouth. And, I'm certainly not going to make heroes out of the traitorous, murdering clones; nor do I care to revere bounty hunters and mercenaries who sell themselves to the highest bidder without loyalty to anyone but themselves.

So, I'm narrow-minded because I know what I like and what I don't like? I don't think so. At this point in my life there's very little that I have to do that I don't want to do. I read enough stuff I didn't like while I was in school; I see no reason why I should do so now for entertainment. I don't enjoy it; it offends me, and makes me angry.

And a Jedi has no use for anger... Fan your flames up someone else's chimney.

VINI, VIDI, VISA... I CAME, I SAW, I BOUGHT A COPY...

I don't own a game system...there, I said it. The secret's out. I love games, don't get me wrong, but I only play when I'm with the Padawans.

But, that didn't stop me from attending the Force Unleashed release party Monday night with the Rebel Legion and the 501st. Money was raised for charity!

I got a discount on the game (for the oldest Padawan's birthday next month) and a free action figure with a cheat code! Woo Hoo! (oops, so much for the surprise!)

And I won a keychain in the trivia contest. They never asked a question that I couldn't have answered! One person said, "That's not fair, she's a Jedi!'

Younglings were trained in the art of the lightsaber, and defended the Masters from Vader's blade...

The full moon brought out all sorts of inhabitants from the local planetary system...

This is one happy X-Wing pilot...This Jedi seems entirely too happy, but possibly it's because he got to go home with me...

Ever wonder where Jedi slept after the Temple had fallen? Or what stormtroopers really do on duty? This IS the game we're looking for...

Lord Vader runs for president, although I wonder why he'd want a position so, um, less powerful? And really, THIS is not the way to win over voters in the New Republic...

* * *

I know I haven't blogged much lately... I've been sewing a new costume for my dear friend Master Mina, reading and writing fan fic, reading the X-Wing Series and the Jedi Academy Trilogy... making costumed appearances... creating a new blog site for my new RL base...in other words, I've been lazy...

And this is not to say that I'll be back again anytime soon, either! So... May the Force be with us all...

TESTING THE PATIENCE OF A JEDI

What does a petticoat have to do with the Dark Side? There's more there than (doesn't) meet the eye....



This is Dummy-Wan. Or Dummy for short. She hardly deserves the "wan" designation, since she's evil. I tend to think of it as a "she" since she's my evil twin. Evil because she can lose six dress sizes in 5 minutes. Evil because she can grow taller, but refuses to stay at whatever height I set her at. Evil because no matter how big or how old she gets, she never has to wear a brassiere.... But that's beside the point....

Dummy has delusions of grandeur. She's dressed as a Jedi Knight, a Jedi Master, Mara Jade Skywalker and Princess Leia. She's even been seen in Jedi underwear. And, most scandalously of all, in a cloak with nothing on underneath. Shameful!

But, you're here to find out how a petticoat can be steeped in the dark side of the Force...

It seems like a simple project, a black petticoat with an elastic waist. Easy. I even found directions online and didn't have to buy a pattern. I did the math, even the geometry... heck, I got A's in geometry, I can do a trapezoid with no problem. I measured and snipped and tore the fabric in perfectly straight edges...

I hemmed and gathered the hundreds of inches of ruffles. I stitched the sides with neatly finished off seams. Then I tried it on Dummy-Wan. I fought to get it on past her bosoms, yanking it down around her hips, twisting and turning the fabric... all of which ended up with the petticoat stuck on the dummy, me fighting it, desperately trying to reach through the fabric to adjust the dials to a smaller size to get the fabric unstuck, forgetting there's two sets of dials....

I fought Dummy-Wan to the finish, her torso separated from her stand, lying on the floor with her waist extended enough to fit the costume of Kaminoan... where she stayed until Grampy-Wan came home and put her back together... I'm not mechanically challenged by any means, but my plan involved a sledgehammer and thought it wiser to wait for someone with more patience...

So what went wrong? Did the inches of my tape measure shrink? Was there a shift in the space-time continuum that caused my fabric to get narrower for no apparent reason? Or were the directions written for someone with a derriere the shape of a ten year-old....

No, I think dark forces were at work here... because to finally finish the garment I had to cut more fabric, cut and make more ruffles, and pick black stitches out of black fabric... over and over.... and the first ruffle I made got stuck under the throat plate of the sewing machine, I ran out of thread, I hemmed the wrong ruffle.... And I picked a helluva lot of black stitches out of black fabric... I'll be blind for days... did I mention I picked black stitches out of black fabric????

On a side note... while researching this project I googled "petticoat" and got lists of bridal shops... when I googled "black petticoat" I got cheesy costume shops and sleazy lingerie sites... interesting...

The moral of this story is, of course.... Be mindful of the Dark Side, even if it's your underwear...

A Summer Storm Brings Us Up to MIDNIGHT!

It was like thunder and lightning... oh wait, it WAS thunder and lightning when we got to the theatre. A summer storm was brewing up, and the wind made my Jedi cloak billow out behind me and I felt like a kick-butt Jedi Master as I walked across the parking lot, lightsaber in hand.

Then there was the biggest-honkin-screen-in-Arizona of the Cine Capri. The only place I'll go to see a movie anymore, I'm so spoiled. Stadium seating, rocking seats with lightsaber holders (some people were using them to hold their drink cups), 400 speakers and 35,000 watts of Dolby Digital.... Yes, I'm a techno-junkie... so send me into exile... this is only the second time in two years I've even BEEN to a movie!

Last weekend we spent two evenings there in costume, raising money for Phoenix Children's Hospital. The local 501st set up a photo booth, and we good guys from the Rebel Legion supplied plenty of Jedi, a Padme, a Tusken, a Rebel pilot.... The bad guys supplied a Vader, and Darth Nilihus, some stormtroopers, a couple of clones who didn't know what side they were on...

We even got some good press out of it... with a slide show! Don't worry, I'm not in any of them...

This brings me up to last night.... We hung out and about in the lobby waiting for the midnight show. Jedi, stormtroopers, Sith Lords, Clones, Tuskens, a Wookiee, Yoda, Princess Leia and Padme...a whole family of Jedi came in...

We were supposed to play with the folks in line, and there was no line! They opened up the theatre at 9 o'clock and everyone was inside... and I can't say that I blame them, since the AC inside was much better than that in the lobby area...

But I digress.... Sweating in full Jedi garb tends to do that.... You're all waiting breathlessly to hear what I have to say about The Clone Wars.... And I say, GO SEE IT! Don't let other peoples' opinions sway you, judge it for yourself.

No, it isn't Star Wars: A New Hope revisited, it won't give you the chills and thrills of 1977, but it's FUN! Lots of action, lots of humor, some nice artwork. I would have preferred a more realistic style of animation and real John Williams music, but those are just personal preferences.

One guy in his mid-30s, who must have visited the bar across the mall before entering the theatre complex, asked me if he could have my lightsaber.... "No, I don't think so!" I said. "OK, can I have you?" He replied.

Forget it, my heart belongs to Obi-Wan, but don't tell Yoda.

At least the Force was with me long enough for no one to see the Jedi in full vestments putting out the recycle bin at 2:30 in the morning..

PICTURES FROM ENDOR

CLICK ON THE IMAGE TO SEE A LARGER PICTURE! If you're interested... lol

Libby Creek .... our swimming and body surfing spot..

The trail beside the creek...


Mama & Baby?

My Boys...


July 4th! My favorite holiday!

Tyler goes to camp... and Jake celebrates....

Bull Lake ... crystal clear and ice cold!

The trip to North Fork Falls....

Jacob learns to do a cannonball!

The road to Libby Creek...


Just a brief trip through Montana.... {sigh}

A RECON REPORT

It's like Endor, only it isn't a moon. It's not even an entire planet, just a tiny part of the third planet in this system. It's forested, ferned and the sky is blue.

The inhabitants are short, but they are not Ewoks. They do have ducks, and other furred creatures. Frighteningly, they even have ones with hooves, but they seem quite friendly, at least with each other.

Amazingly enough, the natives can defy gravity! They seem to love the water. I was told that at certain times of the planet's rotational period, the water is a solid and piles up on the ground! I was much happier to see it as a liquid, running in its natural channels.

They do seem to care about their love lives, but the strange weather patterns that occur in midsummer create some strange rituals. Other rites seem to involve singing, and going away to rustic places.

It was an educational mission for this Jedi.

TRANSLATION: I went to Montana to see my grandsons.... LOL

There's Always Something... or Someone...

UPDATE: This blog appeared on starwars.com for two weeks, gathering several great comments, before it was blocked by asshole kissing Dark Moose.... if he really wants to read a blog that's about him, he should scroll down one blog.....




The whining child on the playground, the cool kid who rats out the nerd for cutting class, the religious right, the activist, the researcher, the government agency, the Harper Valley PTA... but wait, I digress...Well, I do have point.

There's always someone around who can't stand to see anyone having too much fun. Is it malice? Is it jealousy? Is it just plain old-fashioned grumpiness?

Or is it the deep-rooted psychological need to belong. The "If I can't play then no one can?"

In our little world we have it. It's the person who calls you a "geek" for wearing a Star Wars t-shirt.

Or the person who drives by the theatre while you're standing in line to see The Empire Strikes Back and yells out the window, "Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father!"

It's the lady in the fabric store that laughs out loud when you say you're sewing a Princess Leia costume or a Jedi cloak.

And it's the librarian who looks down her nose when you complain there's not very many Star Wars books in the collection.

Or it's the person who doesn't like what you're reading or writing.

Star Wars is meant to be fun. And people who can't stand to watch others have fun should just loosen up and enjoy the moment. It may not come around again.

Or else, go have themselves memorialized in some fashion, since they feel they are so superior to the rest of us. Perhaps a statue, or a nice commemorative portrait or a clock. I wouldn't buy it, but HEY! You never know...

And that be all....

PS: Candace is the big sister on Phineas and Ferb, whose mission in life is to bust her brothers for whatever fun they're having in the back yard...

SCREW YOU DARK MOOSE!

Yes, it was a contest. Actually, it was a Blog Challenge. The blogs have been looking pretty pathetic lately, so some of us decided to have a blog writing challenge called "The Word of Star Wars."

The short version is, each entrant had to write a blog using a particular Star Wars word in every sentence. In order to bring attention to these wonderful blogs, we decided to call the all "The Word of Star Wars."

"So what happened?" That ass sucking moderator Dark Moose yanked them all down as being "spam". Now you tell me how different blogs, written by different people, can be spam? According to asshole Moose, the use of identical titles is Spam. BULLSHIT!

This is DM on a personal vendetta again. He says it's "confusing." Well, it was confusing with all different titles, no one "got it" about the word being repeated. He says is "spamming" the front page. Is this the same page that hasn't been updated in a over a month? That still contains a Memorial Day blog among the Top Three when it's almost Independence Day? More BULLSHIT! Or should I say Moose Shit?

It's too confusing for permalinks. What a crock of Moose Shit. The permalink is assigned by the server, and the server is smart enough to know the difference between one writer and another.

Moose, you SUCK, you suck huge big green ones. You can't stand us because we're smarter than you, we're better bloggers than you, people like us better than you.

I HOPE YOU DIE! And rot in Moose Hell.

The Blogs are starwars.com are dead. Long live Moose, and turn out the lights before you leave. Friggin asshole!

Wait, Granny, tell what you really think! I think that perhaps my third year of Hyperspace was one year too many. I think it could possibly be in the top ten list of the worst things I spent $14.95 for. I think Moose is an overgrown adolescent who's never been laid. And.... I think he needs his Ions Blasted in the worst possible way.

And now I feel better, even though the challenge was ruined! Screw you Moose....and I don't mean that in the way of the ultimate human pleasure...

THE WORD OF STAR WARS: Ion Blasters!

For want of a zip-tie the buckle was lost,
For want of a buckle the belt was lost,
For want of a belt the Jedi couldn't keep her Ion Blaster in one place.... Not to mention her pants....

As I slipped my utility belt around my waist, I realized I needed an extra weapon for where I was going; I needed an ion blaster.

I added the holster, and the ion blaster slapped comfortingly against my hip, but when I tried to secure my belt, the buckle came apart.

A quick reach into my emergency pouch and I came up with a zip tie, secured the buckle and my belt, leaving my ion blaster in easy reach.

I strode down the main street of Mos Eisley, my cloak billowing out behind, my lightsaber on one hip and the ion blaster on the other, both weapons in plain sight. I could be intimidating when I needed to, and going into the Blasted Ion Cantina required me to be so.

I was sure my contact would find me at the bar, how many red-haired Jedi sporting ion blasters could there be?

"I assume the Ion Blaster is the house specialty?" I asked the bartender.

He pushed the frothy cold drink across the bar, "One Ion Blaster," he said, "Blended, not pulverized."

I felt a presence behind me, and turned to face my mysterious contact, my right hand instinctively reaching for my lightsaber while my left pulled back my cloak to show my ion blaster.

He inclined his head towards a table in the corner of the Blasted Ion's dark interior, and we sat down across the table from each other.

"I have information for you, Jedi," he said, "But I prefer to be paid in credits instead of having my ions blasted into oblivion."

"You'll get your credits," I said, in my most persuasive voice, "as long as you don't cause me to use this ion blaster."

He snorted, and I caught sight of his right hand edging its way towards his Blastech pistol, and I ignited my lightsaber while pulling the ion blaster from its holster.

"Don't try it," I said, "As a Jedi, I always have my eye on blasters."

"Don't shoot me with that ion blaster," he begged, not realizing he was about to lose a hand to my lightsaber.

"Tell me where to find the gunrunners who are supplying ion blasters to the pirates on the Perleman Trade Route," I said, as I extinguished my lightsaber but kept it in my hand.

"If I tell you, will you put that ion blaster away?" He asked desperately.

"Tell me first, and then I'll think about holstering the ion blaster."

"It's the notorious pirate gang Kaldo who's supplying the ion blasters," he said. "They're holed up on Wayland, in a fortified ion blaster factory."

As I rose from the table, I holstered my ion blaster and tossed him a sack of credits. "Don't try to follow me unless you want the taste of blasted ions on your tongue."

With his information, Republic Intelligence was able to take out the gang of gun runners, and shut down the ion blaster factory on Wayland.

The true hero of this tale of lightsabers and ion blasters is the zip tie. Without it, my utility belt would have gone flying off in the streets of Mos Eisley, not only losing my ion blaster, but embarrassing me as well.

So I've added zip ties to my emergency supplies, along with hairpins, Velcro and extra ions for my blaster. You just never know when you need to keep something together long enough to vaporize it with your ion blaster.

The Swimming Hole

Greetings from Libby Creek

YOU CAN LEAD A GUNDARK TO WATER, BUT NOT ON TATOOINE

Traveling through hyperspace ain't like dusting crops.

Well, it seems to me that all the crops on Tatooine would already be dusty, it being a desert and all... everything in Arizona is certainly dusty. But if the crops on Tatooine were water, how would they be dusted? It would be mud. And if the crop was water, where did the food come from? Chinese take out? Thank you for calling the Tosche Station Pizza Hut...

Mos Eisley spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

Oh, I don't know about that, Obi-Wan, there's always north Scottsdale... and the consulting firm I used to work for... which pales next to the air conditioning place I worked at...

"I'll have an Eyeblaster," the Princess said. "Atomized, not fizzled!"

I can see Princess Leia in the Mos Eisley cantina. Completely unfazed by the assortment of beings, and staring down the patrons at the bar. "You have the death sentence on twelve systems? I don't give a damn, I'm a Princess!"



The hot weather has me thinking about Tatooine, as you can surmise by my random musings. It's hot, dry and some days the wind blows up enough dust to make the sky brown. The weather forecast? Hot and getting hotter every day until October. And my point? Have the meteorologists take the summer off. I bet Tatooine didn't even HAVE meteorologists... unless they were there to look out for meteors...

You know why the best cheeseburgers come from the asteroid belt? They're meatier.

The pioneers looked for water holes along the trail; we look for hotels with pools. Here in Arizona we all have pools, and we have artificial lakes. Only in Arizona would a city council have to vote on putting water into the town lake, which was created in a dry riverbed, which is dry because we dammed up the river to have water for our pools...and you thought New Republic politics were complicated...

So, with the coming of summer I'll be in the house all day, and have lots of time to blog... hopefully the next one will have some substance.

And may the Force be with us all!

STORMTROOOPERS, CLONES AND JEDI, OH MY!

Cancer is a serious subject. Raising money to help fight cancer is a serious subject. But with the help of Star Wars, it can be fun.

Saturday night, the Arizona contingent of Mountain Base of the Rebel Legion participated in a Relay for Life event for the American Cancer Society. The Dune Sea Garrison of the 501st had a team, and graciously allowed us to move into their campsite for four hours to help support the effort and raise some money.

Ben Kenobi, Visas Marr, five Jedi (one with spiky hair), two Leias, a Rebel Fleet Trooper and a Tusken Raider hung out and hobnobbed with Darth Vader, Darth Nihilus, Boba Fett, a Clone Commander with a BIG blaster, an Imperial Commander and several stormtroopers.

There were some solemn moments during the various ceremonies, and seeing the stormtroopers remove their helmets during one of the memorials was touching. As Jedi, we bowed our heads in respectful silence.

But the overall theme of "movie night" was FUN! Walking laps in costume, cheering on the walkers, browsing the various raffles and fundraising sales... and holding our own raffle to raise money which had the added bonus of making people, especially some eager kids, very happy.

My thanks go out to all my friends of the PLB, the Spew Crew and the GHG for their generous donation of prizes allowing us to have 25 lucky winners! And cash raised for the American Cancer Society at no cost to them.

My highlight of the night was walking backwards to the relay walkers with a handful of raffle tickets, in my full Jedi costume, hitting up those who were working their own booths. At one point I was walking straight into Darth Vader and a group of stormtroopers! A boy of about ten ran up to me and said, "Look out, Darth Vader's coming!"

"I ain't afraid of Darth Vader!" I told him loudly, and as he passed we exchanged high fives, and so did the stormies.

It was a little too hot and I sunburned my ear in the hour before the sun went down, but over all it was a happy and successful evening!

A POOLSIDE JEDI or LIVING IN THE MOMENT

The other day I had five good minutes.

Grampy-Wan decided to clean the pool, and this requires my assistance... my special contribution being my ability to get down on the concrete and finagle the vacuum hose around until it's plugged in tight and all the air is gone without losing suction... after this feat, I sat and watched...

And while sitting in the sun in my yellow pajamas and sun glasses, my back to the brick wall, I saw things. I heard things. I noticed things.

And for five minutes I was a good Jedi, focused on the here and now. I let the Force flow through me and heighten my awareness of the ordinary. No thoughts back to the regrets of the past, no worries about the future... Just a few moments in the sun.

Obi-Wan Katnobi walked across my lap with a meow and took his place on the corner of the fence overlooking his kingdom. A bird flew by and I didn't worry about him catching it and dragging it into the house...

The wind rustled the trees, and I noticed my neighbor's tree has leafed out, and I didn't think about the shade trees I used to have in my yard that I killed...

Some freshly cut grass floated on top of the water and I didn't think about how they might clog up the filter... I just watched the sun shine on the little, tiny waves... and listened to the birds chirp and the wind moving the trees...

My other neighbor has a TV antenna, and I wonder if back in the 60s, when the neighborhood was new, if every house had a TV antenna on top it... I see the turbo-vents whirling on the roof on every house around... Air conditioners turning on and off...

And the sparkly clear water looked so soothing, reminding me of how much I love the water, and then I realized how I'm stuck here for another stinkin' summer!!!!!!

So, the moment was over... I was back to my fretting and worrying and complaining.

But it made me stop and think how Star Wars has affected my interpretation of things. Now when I wonder, I wonder about the GFFA.

Do they have pool-cleaning droids? That's not all that far out there, what with the automatic, built in pool cleaners that new pools have these days...

But do cats chase birds in the backyards of Bakura? Do palm trees rustle in the breeze on Dantooine? Does cut grass skitter across the clear water of the Silver Sea? Did an idiot with a salt-water fish tank kill all the trees on Coruscant? Oh wait, that was me...

Do Jedi ever stop and sit with their feet in the water?

So now instead of fretting, I'm going to dream about barefoot Jedi on the shores of distant lakes, and Force sensitive cats, and flying cars... that don't need gas...

And may the Force be with us all...

I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS!

Yes, the rumors are true, it's my birthday... I am officially as old as Yoda and not in half as good a condition... and it's Toxic Waste Day...


Does it mean anything that the city in which I live had it's semi-annual "Household Hazardous Waste Collection Event" also known as "Toxic Waster Day' today, on my birthday? Oh, I hope it was a coincidence... although we know from our Jedi teachings that everything happens for a reason, and there is no coincidence...

A long time ago, in a town 900 miles away, on this date in history, in a hospital that doesn't exist anymore, I was born...

Was it a big deal? I suppose... my parents already had three children, the youngest of whom was 10... so to say I was a surprise would not be out of line... shock was probably more like it...

I'm sure my birth would have created a disturbance in the Force had I been born in the GFFA... I'm not sure where I would have fit in had I been born there... Would Qui-Gon be saying, "Had she been born in the Republic...."? I consider myself fortunate to have been born in the US... but to be born a Jedi would have been truly special...

To have a special power, a gift, so to speak... and the training to use it properly, for good... to be bathed in the light of the Force... to give myself over to it, to trust it implicitly... to hold the power in my hand and go forth into the galaxy to do good...

Yes, it would have been the best thing one could be... unselfish, compassionate, dedicated... to always know the right thing to do, because of the power of the Force...

Emotion, yet peace.
Ignorance, yet knowledge.
Passion, yet serenity.
Chaos, yet harmony.
Death, yet the Force.

Yes, I can see my self living the life of a Jedi... or envying it from afar... they would most certainly be my heroes if I could not be one of them...

Sigh... instead I am a mere human, earthbound... I hold no special powers, I am ruled by my emotions, I fear death, and my most serious decisions revolve around which frozen meal to have for dinner... or which fabric to buy for my newest Jedi costume...

So.... What is Granny's point, you're all thinking?

My point is... I CAN'T POSSIBLY BE THIS OLD! What the hell happened? I should be a about 35 or 40 or so... My past is longer than my future...

But I don't worry too much about that, because I won't remember it anyway...

MORE JEDI CANDY

Ep. III Through Obi-Wan's Eyes

THE THIN LINE BEFORE THE DARK SIDE

There's a line between the good side and the Dark Side of the Force, but is it always clear? Does every Jedi know where the line is? Does every Jedi have a moment when he finds himself on the verge of crossing over?

Mace Windu channels his darkness into his fighting style and draws strength from it, and he was ready to kill Palpatine in the heat of battle. Was he about to cross the line himself? I don't think so. Destroying evil doesn't make one evil.

"It's not the Jedi way," Anakin pleads with him, but we all know Anakin's motivation is selfish. Isn't the purpose of the Jedi to guard peace and justice? To ensure freedom throughout the galaxy.

"He's too dangerous to be kept alive!" Mace replies, and indeed, how would imprison a Sith of Palpatine's power? What shackles or prison cell could hold him?

Yoda tells Luke he'll know the difference between the good side and the darkness when he's calm and at peace. Luke's moment is on the second Death Star, after attacking Vader in anger he has him down and helpless, but he refuses to kill him. "I am a Jedi," he says, "Like my father before me." He seems so sure at that moment that he's doing the right thing.

Side note: Not killing Vader was a good thing, throwing away his lightsaber was definitely NOT the "Jedi Way."

Obi-Wan's moment is on the black sands of Mustafar. He will not kill a helpless Anakin, and instead leaves his fate to the will of the Force. Was he as sure at that moment that it was the right thing, or could he not bring him self to kill the young man he loved like a brother?

That would not have been the Jedi way, to put his personal feelilngs get in the way of his duty? I wonder did he torture himself for the next 20 years every time he heard of some new atrocity committed by Darth Vader...

It's interesting to note, however, that earlier in the fight he has Anakin down and without a weapon and he raises his lightsaber to deliver a fatal blow, but Anakin calls his lightsaber to his hand and blocks Obi-Wan's blade at the last second. Obi-Wan was certainly ready to kill him at that moment, though possibly he would have regretted it afterwards?

Was that a line before the Dark Side? Or was he so deep into the Force that his actions would have been guided by it without concisous thought?

Anakin's moment comes in Palpatine's office, when he kills Mace, but he knows it was wrong. "What have I done?" And after attacking the Temple and killing the younglings he evades Padme's questions about what he's going to do. He knows he's crossed the line so far he can never go back.

Only Yoda seems sure of himself, "Destroy the Sith, we must," he tells Obi-Wan. He isn't leaving any room for doubt there, he wants them dead and knows it's the only way.

I just watched ROTS for the zillionth time... That movie is so sad, when Obi-Wan says "You were the chosen one..." I get tears in my eyes...

I was speed-watching it... which means I watch the first 25 minutes or so and then jump through the rest so I get less talk and more action... less Palpatine and more Obi-Wan...

It occurred to me that Yoda and Obi-Wan should have gone to fight Sidious together... Yoda knows Obi-Wan can't take Sidious alone, but wouldn't the two of them have had a better chance? Was he so sure he could win? Or was he afraid they'd both die and leave no one to confront Anakin?

Either way, he should have known that as long as Sidious lived it wouldn't matter if Anakin did or not, the "Oppression of the Sith" had returned, with or without Darth Vader.

All throughout the saga I'm certain Palpatine has backup plans, and no matter what happens he manipulates things to go his way. Until he meets a certain young Jedi named Luke Skywalker, but Palpatine underestimated the wisdom Luke carried, that of both Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yoda. Wisdom gained from experience, and from 20 years of regrets.

How could a Sith so powerful make such a devastating error in judgment? Because he was evil from within. He never faced the crossing of the line before the Dark Side.

THE LURE OF JEDIISM - CAN THAT REALLY BE A WORD?

#78 --- Jediism -- George Lucas is a nice guy. Let's not have him elroned.
- The Stooge, Top Hundred Time, 3-3-08


I've been thinking about this for a week... and I agree, let's not have George elroned, or celebrate the Sacred Month of May, or have his birthday made into a national holiday (although it should be)...

But I was thinking about the lure of the Jedi. They had the Force, and the Force gave them their powers, but it also gave them something more. The Force gave them inner peace, self-confidence, a purpose for living, and everlasting life.

Sound like a religion? Sure it does, but in the GFFA the Force was a proven fact, not just a happy idea taken on faith. It was only years of Palpatine's propaganda that turned it into a "hokey religion". They were not "mystics" or "magicians" they were just beings exercising a special talent.

Some people were given the gift of Force sensitivity, and others were not. Why? And how? Was it by chance? We see it is hereditary, so perhaps it skipped generations and popped up every now and then in a child, who then became a Jedi Knight. Perhaps it was at random. Perhaps it was "the will of the Force."

In the book form of ROTS, Obi-Wan describes the "will of the Force" as the explanation for that which could not be explained, comparing it to the will of a river to flow downhill. Beautiful words! Just as it is our will to be good or evil, the only two things we can really control.

It seems in our world, that some people are given the gift of faith, and others or not. I was not, and there's no changing that. And the old saying is true... if you don't have it, you can't understand the explanation, and if you do have it, you don't need an explanation.

The lure of Jediism (that can't be a word! ) is obvious. We all want inner peace, self-confidence and everlasting life. "Luminous beings are we!" But we are not all blessed with faith, or the emotional strength to obtain peace of mind.

But we don't have to be blessed with anything, like faith or midi-chlorians. The Jedi had the Force, but they still had to train themselves to feel it and use it. And how not to mis-use it. If I were to theoretically attain perfect peace of mind, it would not be of any use for me to stay inside my mind and keep myself company, for example. (The attaining of perfect peace of mind was the theoretical part, not the keeping myself company...)

I think for me the big fascination for the Jedi came from their ability to do everything right. That calm acceptance of their fate, be it life or death. The sureness of themselves. The light in Obi-Wan Kenobi's eyes at the moment he decided to sacrifice himself.

Somewhere in us all is the ability to achieve inner peace, to calmly accept our fates, to learn the difference between right and wrong, to let go of our selfishness for the greater good. We don't need the Force or faith to do these things.

To be at peace with ourselves, no matter what. To know that we are making the right choices. To know that our choices effect others, so that they may achieve their own inner peace.

That, my friends, is the attraction of the Jedi.

TEN INCOMPLETE LINES IN THE STAR WARS SAGA

10. "No, I call it aggressive negotiations!" What do expect me to do, you little twerp, stand here and let them shoot me? - Padme Amidala, AOTC

9. "He's dangerous, they all sense it, why can't you?" And after you're dead I'll be able to say TOLD YOU SO! - Obi-Wan Kenobi, TPM

8. "We will watch your career with great interest" While I manipulate you into helping me take over the galaxy. - Palpatine, TPM

7. "Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise." Oh wait, no they aren't. - Obi-Wan Kenobi, ANH

6. "Some day you're going to make a mistake and I just hope I'm around to see it!" If you don't kill me first with some damn fool flying maneuver! - Princess Leia, TESB

5. "I am a Jedi, like my father before me." Except that I just kicked his butt and could take you, too, if I hadn't just thrown away my lightsaber {smacks himself on the forehead} - Luke Skywalker, ROTJ

4. "I have taught you everything I know" Except how to beat me in a lightsaber duel... - Obi-Wan Kenobi, ROTS

3. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!" And I'll never go back to the BBQ joint back at Echo Base... - Han Solo, TESB

2. "He's headed for the small moon!" That's no moon, that's the Emperor's Butt! - Luke Skywalker, ANH

1. "I have a bad feeling about this!" And why don't I listen to myself? - Several Characters, and all six movies!

THE DARK SIDE OF THE MASQUERADE

THE PITIFUL LITTLE BAND RAWKS WONDERCON!

The Emperor may have felt safe from Luke Skywalker and his "pitiful little band" of rebels, but guests at WonderCon in San Francisco last night didn't stand a chance.
WE WON THE FREAKIN' LUCASFILM AWARD!

Yes, it's true, the winners of the WonderCon 2008 Masquerade Lucasfilm Award just happen to be Star Wars Bloggers! Well, three bloggers and a spouse... close enough.

Jedi Master Mina, Hansgirl, Grampy-Wan and I competed in the WonderCon Masquerade. So what you say? Well, it was the first time for all of us, in any sort of costume contest... And we converged upon Coruscant from three distant points in the galaxy without benefit of in-person planning or rehearsal or costume fittings...

The whole deal was co-coordinated by email, IM's, phone calls, and a last minute practice session on Saturday afternoon!

This wasn't just a walk-across-the-stage type of costume contest, this was a presentation style show. We had 2 minutes... sound like a short time? When you're rehearsing, it's an eternity.... But on stage it went fast... even when one is out of step...

I take credit for the costuming, because I did make them all myself. And I created the music track... but BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE for Hansgirl for choreographing a dance to fit my poor edit of Meco's 1970's disco style "Star Wars" theme and trying teach JMM and I the steps... (we loved the clashing saber parts the best).

And of course a BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE for Jedi Master Mina and myself for not falling down, passing out, running into each other, or tripping over the curtains and falling off the stage....

Here we are pre-performance.... Jedi Master Mina (as herself), Hansgirl as Princess Leia, Grampy-Wan as Yoda and me as Mara Jade Skywalker. And here we are post prize winning! Yes, the bicycle was the prize... supposedly it's very valuable.... Or so the M.C. says that Steve Sansweet says.... I'm certain they're joking, and a rather cruel joke at that...it seems like an odd prize to give to convention goers that MIGHT BE FROM ANOTHER STATE! Good thing we didn't fly in....

On a side note, Grampy-Wan paid homage to his hero this morning, in spite of a great Force wind blowing... and I posed with the Master, too...

In other bits of Convention news....

Met up with Nob01 and the expectant Pidluk... I have visions of baby Jedi costumes dancing in my head...

Friday I got a snuggle from Richard Hatch of Battlestar Galactica fame... I had such a crush on him back in 1979... almost as big as the one I had on Mark Hamill... and I was no giggling teenager back then, either....

And here is the face behind the greatest Fan Film ever, Hardware Wars... Ernie Fosselius himself, along with Artie Deco and the Wookie Monster...

Also, I learned a bit about droid building, mold making, and the secret of industrial strength Velcro...

We saw several Star Wars Fan Films, a couple of cool trailers for action movies, heard a couple of great guests and got WOWED by the Indiana Jones and Clone Wars trailers shown on a big screen!

Sadly, we did not hear any news of the fate of the next Star Wars Celebration.... So they're having one in Japan, BFD.... It's all such a long way from here....

BUT FRIENDS & STAR WARS ARE FOREVER!

NO SIGNS OF IMPERIAL ACTIVITY, WE ARE CLEAR FOR HYPERSPACE!

Mos Eisley may have been a wretched hive of scum and villainy, but I bet it at least had holo-net towers...

There's something intriguing about blogging from the car. It's not that I have anything in particular to say, it just seems so damn cool, so high-tech, that I have to do it.

I'm on my way from Arizona to California, which could be a short trip or a long trip, depending upon where you start and where you finish. In this case it's a long trip, about 900 miles... Right now I'm actually writing this offline, because on this particular stretch of US-95 there hasn't been a cell tower in sight for... many parsecs.

I would have posted while I was crossing the state line, in this case the Colorado River, but I was eating a double cheeseburger at the time and I have limits to my multitasking abilities while riding in a car...

There's a whole lot of nothing going on out here in the Mojave Desert, just tumbleweeds and motor homes... Quartzsite, AZ must be the RV capital of the galaxy... I expect to see Lone Starr and Barfolomew on the road at any time now... I'm sure he'd blast the pipe truck and the two RV's that are in front of us, slowing down traffic...

It's nice to be in a rented landspeeder... only 245 parsecs on the odometer... but what good does it do to have 8-cylinders of hyperdrive if you never get to use it? We've just come over a hill and can see Needles, California... from here it looks a bit like our first view of Mos Eisley in ANH.

But, just as that wretched hive of scum and villainy was the closest thing to civilization that Luke and Old Ben had, Needles undoubtedly has cell towers....

I just had a flash of memory of a vacation with my parents, I must have been about 10, going from California towards New Mexico, and we stopped at a Denny's in Needles for dinner... I remember it was hot, and the motel next to the restaurant had a pool that looked sooooooo inviting.... I'd heard of Needles before, since that's where Snoopy's brother Spike lives...in fact, we just passed Spike Road...but I thought it must have been named Needles because the temperature was so high it was like needles of heat stabbing you...

Aha! I can see the interstate through the haze...Interstate 40, talk about a wretched hive...have I ever mentioned that I've been on every mile of it? I've crossed the Continental Divide so many times I don't know which way to spit, but at least I won't on this trip... but at least I-40 has hyperspace lanes... and cell towers!

THIS IS DEDICATED TO THE ONE I LOVE

Happy Valentine's Day? Yes, Master (2008 Version)

Each night before I go to bed, my Jedi...
I leave my door unlocked for you, my Jedi....
And tell the moons and the stars up above,
"May the Force send to me the one I love."

My Dearest Obi-Wan,

I love you. I know that you know. And you love me, I know.

I'm sorry we haven't had time to...see each other since Balanced Force Day, but with the war going on and all, it's understandable. Inconvenient, the war is. All those troopers look alike to me, don't you ever get a headache? Well, never mind that, I'm always here to take care of you, whatever your... needs may be.

As I told you last Valentine's Day, and during your Week of Honor, you are the Jedi that fits my description of A JEDI KNIGHT. Honest, brave, loyal, dedicated, skilled and wise. You are everything a Knight should be, and you can make a night everything it should be!

I love the Valentine you sent. Thank you for the wine and flowers, and those two nights on Chandrila you have planned sound great, I hear that hotel has the best... room service droids in that part of the galaxy, and you know how much I love a good.... cheese omelet.

It was impressive how you've figured out how to ditch our nosy Padawans, I'm sure they will appreciate the weekend on Hoth. I mean, who wouldn't?

Oh, my love, what a year we've had, in spite of being sent all over the galaxy in separate directions. I will never forget that night on Dantooine beneath the shooting stars, that was the best.... dinner I've ever had. And the soothing sounds of the waterfalls near that hotel on Naboo while we... meditated together. Your Jedi talents are unforgettable, and the memory of your... words will stay with me throughout eternity.

You know, my dearest, that time you tried to slip your... thoughts into me was so exciting, even if you were just trying to get me to... see things your way. Silly Jedi, you could have accomplished the same things with wine and chocolate, or your best.... persuasive techniques.

And that fine piece of hardware you have hanging from your... belt. Nothing turns me on faster than the sound of a lightsaber springing to life, except for maybe the sound of your whisper in my ear when you said, "Let's ditch this briefing and go behind the twin rocks in the fountain room..."

You certainly bring out the best in me as a woman, as well as a Jedi. Like the time I told Master Mina that bottle of massage oil was really a medicinal elixir brewed from Bacta and pallie juice? And I was rubbing it into your chest to relieve a cough? And she believed me? Those noises you were making didn't sound a bit like a cough to me...

And who could forget that night you were going to sneak into my quarters and I was going to sneak into yours and we met in the elevator, barefooted and in our Jedi Jammies... Who knew I could jam a turbolift with a hairpin?

I've learned so much from you, Obi-Wan... my love, my life, the Master of my heart. Only the Force knows what this year will bring for us. Your wishes are my commands... or is it the other way around?

May our love and passion extend from now into the far distant future, across the vastness of space, so that billions of years from now, someone, somewhere will say, "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..."



Life can never be, exactly what we want it to be
But there's something that every Jedi needs....
Each night before you meditate, my Jedi,
Whisper into the Force for me, my Jedi.
And tell the moons and the stars up above.
"This is dedicated to the one I love."

THE REDEMPTION OF OBI-WAN KENOBI

Patience may be useful to the villain, but it's a virtue of the Light Side... "Until the time is right"... But how long is long enough? Especially for a Man of his Word...

DISCLAIMER: Most everyone here knows I love Obi-Wan Kenobi, and not just because Ewan McGregor is a hot, hunky, gorgeous piece of manhood... although that doesn't hurt... But this blog is about the character of Obi-Wan... the character that I admire above all others... so let's keep our minds out of the gutter while we read this, shall we? If I can do it while writing it, you all ought to be able to while reading it.... Tee hee



Obi-Wan Kenobi was a man of his word. He promised his dying Master he would train Anakin. I feel for him at this moment, as Galactic Babe pointed out in one of my earlier blogs, once Qui-Gon met Anakin, he was done with Obi-Wan. After twelve years of a father-son relationship, he's suddenly ready to dump him for another apprentice. Yes, he does reach for Obi-Wan's face in a tender manner, but his last words are of Anakin.

Was Obi-Wan ready to be a Knight? Yes. Was he ready to train an Apprentice? No. But Obi-Wan feels obligated, as he tells Yoda, I gave Qui-Gon my word. The council agrees in spite of Yoda's objections. And so it goes.

Did Obi-Wan have to take his promise to literally? Once the Council agreed to allow the training, why not turn him over to a more experienced Master? Qui-Gon's dying wish would still be honored, but perhaps with better results. Obi-Wan's obligation was to see that Anakin was trained, he really didn't have to do it himself.

Perhaps Yoda should have been less stubborn about the whole affair and taken Anakin into his classes with the other younglings, and let him be chosen at age 13 like any other Padawan. Then Obi-Wan could have stepped in if necessary to keep his promise, but with four years of experience under his belt.

It's mentioned in the "Jedi Quest" series that Anakin thought he was special because he already knew who his master would be, while the other kids did not. It's certainly not something a child who already has a big ego needs...

But Obi-Wan keeps his word, and does so to the best of his ability. I have trained you since you were a small boy, I have taught you everything I know, and you've become a far greater Jedi that I could ever hope to be.... Come on, Obi-Wan, you know he's strong with the Force, and a great fighter, but you know he doesn't have your wisdom or your mental disciplines... you're just feeding his ego some more... tsk tsk.... I know, you were just trying to make peace...

Then Obi-Wan takes on the responsibility of watching over baby Luke. He needed a place to hide, and I suppose Tatooine was as good as any, considering he thought Anakin was dead at the time, but it would have been more productive for the future of the Jedi for him to go off to some outer rim colony and take up farming or some other pursuit, get married and make a dozen or so Jedi babies... but that would throw the whole story off, I know...

In "Labyrinth of Evil", it is said that Obi-Wan feels his destiny is to protect Anakin so he'll live long enough to fulfill his destiny. And now he knows that Anakin's destiny is really Luke's destiny.

And he has given Master Yoda his word that he will watch over Luke. And he hides out in the desert and waits. And waits. Owen Lars won't allow him any contact with young Luke, but still he waits even longer.

How did he know he was doing the right thing? All those years of remorse and regrets, with the Force clouded by the Dark Side, how was he so certain that some day clarity would come and he would know?

I have no doubt that a whisper in the Force pulled him out of his hut and into the Jundland wastes that fateful morning. And there his redemption begins.

Obi-Wan's death scene is certainly one of the most poignant death scenes ever filmed (and Sir Alec Guinness plays it perfectly). He looks over at Luke, the boy he is protecting, the Future of the Jedi, and then closes his eyes and gives himself up to the Force.... To protect the future of the Jedi... to fulfill his promise, if not to Master Yoda then to himself.

I wonder if he thought death would relieve his torment over Anakin... but his words to him, If you strike me down I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine show that he knew he'd still be around.... But perhaps he thought he'd still find peace in being one with the Force. To be totally immersed in the light of the Force, so that it fills your very being with its power... yes, I can see that...

As a side note, I think he should have been given a stronger role in episodes 5 and 6. Even in death, he should have been "more powerful than you can possibly imagine". Perhaps he was working "behind the scenes", so to speak, helping and guiding Luke along his Jedi path so that he would live long enough to fulfill his destiny.

Many have called the end of Return of the Jedi "the redemption of Anakin" but I'm sure Obi-Wan must have felt redeemed from his failures at the same time. The terrible things that Anakin had done could never be undone, but the prophecy was finally fulfilled, balance was restored and the future set back along its rightful path.

Obi-Wan will always be my favorite Jedi, good looking or not. He's the epitome of a Jedi Knight. Always putting others ahead of himself. And always keeping his word.

What more could a girl ask for? Except maybe a nice lightsaber....

FIVE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT PALPATINE

Join me in a short trip down the dark path.... I promise we won't stay long... only long enough to satisfy our evil curiosity...

Join me in a short trip down the dark path.... I promise we won't stay long... only long enough to satisfy our evil curiosity...

5. Patience. No human could have that sort of patience in the world we live in today. Think of the YEARS he spent waiting for just the right moment to reveal himself. He trained Darth Maul from birth, twenty years at least. And another ten years after that, he waited. It hardly matters whether or not he knew of Anakin's existence before Qui-Gon discovered him, because either way he had to wait for him to grow up and learn the ways of the Force. He had to wait for just the right times to manipulate things to his liking.

4. Mental discipline. He hid his Force sensitivity from the Jedi, even from Master Yoda. How tempting it must have been to just once say, "You think you're so hot, try THIS" and zap a little Force lightning across the room just shut up the Jedi Council.

3. Guile. Guile is defined by Merriam-Webster as "deceitful cunning." I would add to that being calm and cool at all times while being deceitfully cunning. No one could ever say he lost his cool or gave himself away at any time while he was manipulating the fate of the galaxy...

2. Taste. His taste in clothing and office décor was, well... a little overdone. But it was PERFECT for a dictator-in-waiting.... His wardrobe and his surroundings DEMANDED respect in a subtle, elusive way. He comported himself with dignity and automatically expected to be treated with dignity. He acted the part of statesman and gentleman.

1. EVILNESS! While I expressed some disappointment over the lack of true evil in Anakin Skywalker, there was no lack of this characteristic in Palpatine. He was "bad to the bone" and the glimpses we catch of that dark side are tantalizing, especially if one has seen the OT first and KNOW he's bad and just hiding it. How many times have you wanted to shout "He's lying!" or "He's manipulating you!" or something similar at your TV screen? The close up of him being somber and serious at Qui-Gon's memorial was brilliant and gave me the chills. Which was destroyed, the master or the apprentice? Well, the Jedi didn't know, but WE did.


I remember after seeing the Emperor's face for the first time in ROTJ, one friend saying "What WAS he?" He was so hideous and disgusting. To see him as a fine looking, middle aged man in TPM made him all the more intriguing. How and when would the truth come out? What would be that final step that makes him "Emperor?"

Young Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi says at the beginning of the movie, "I have a bad feeling about this!" and "It's something elsewhere, elusive." Perhaps Qui-Gon should have paid more attention instead of correcting him, telling him to concentrate on the here and now. But the elusive evilness he sensed was out there.

Palpatine is one of the reasons I'm glad I'm old enough to have seen the OT first. Watching him develop from seemingly honest and dedicated Senator in to Emperor was a treat in itself!

We now return you to the light side of the Force.....

THE WASTE OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER

A long time ago, in a theater 869.2 miles away, I saw a movie.... I laughed, I cried, I kissed three bucks goodbye... my faith in good was renewed... But what happened to my villain?

THE WASTE OF ANAKIN SKYWALKER

Unlike a lot of you here, I remember 1977, and its sequels, 1980 and 1983. I saw movies those years, movies that changed my outlook on life forever.

In 1977, I met Luke Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi. Han Solo, Chewbacca, and Princess Leia. People who were good. Oh, Han was a bit of scoundrel but he was brave and had a good heart.

And there was the unknown Mr. Skywalker, Senior. He didn't even have a first name. But he was once a Jedi Knight, just like Obi-Wan. So that crazy old hermit Ben Kenobi wasn't so crazy after all. He'd been a Jedi Knight.

For over a thousand generations, the Jedi Knights were guardians of peace and justice in the old Republic... from that moment I was hooked. There were heroes out there, Knights that were somehow special, for they had the power of the Force, and they'd survived for a THOUSAND generations. Incredible.

Then there was THE EMPIRE! And the meanest, baddest, most evil villain to ever cross the silver screen... Darth Vader. He was dark, and cruel and menacing. He had a mysterious past.

He was a student of mine, until he turned to evil... Oh, so something terrible must have happened. Something so horrid and unspeakable that it drove a Jedi Knight to do such evil things that Obi-Wan was forced to hunt him down and cast him into a volcano.

In spite of my instant adoration of all things Jedi, I thought Vader was the coolest bad guy EVER! He was scary. And his redemption in the end was touching, as became a person again, a person named Anakin Skywalker. And his death was fitting, for how could he have lived with himself knowing the things he'd done?

The came the prequels.

We were given the Jedi Knights in all their glory, and it was better than I'd ever dreamed of! But where was the mysterious, evil Anakin Skywalker that was so twisted that he turned to the dark side of the Force?

He was home whining on his wife's shoulders...Obi-Wan and the council don't trust me (they won't let me join in any Jedi games)... he whines, and Padme soothes him... there's nothing wimpier than a grown man who has to be placated by his wife.... His mother must have nursed him until he was two....

But I digress!

What happened to the terrible, horrible things that must have happened to him to drive him into the depths of the dark side? War horrors or other atrocities, brainwashing, cloning, torture, brain damage.... Something, for crying out loud!

But we'll never know, because instead of a Jedi Knight, we got a whiny, aggravating wimp for Anakin Skywalker. The mysterious and heroic father that Luke so longed to know about was nothing more than a weasel.

OK, before everyone jumps in and reminds me that Luke did a fair amount of whining in the OT, let me point out that Luke was a miserable, unhappy teenager living on the planet furthest from the bright center of the universe while Anakin was, supposedly, a fully trained Jedi Knight, a leader of troops, a war hero... old enough, or at least he thought, to be married and make babies, and be a Jedi Master at an age when most Jedi are still Padawans.

Oh sorry, I'm digressing again...

Oh, finally, we get to see the true Darth Vader, as he marches on the Temple and kills small children... this is the baddie we love to hate... but somewhere along the line GL expects us to feel sorry for him.... "The Tragedy of Darth Vader" to use his own words... There's even a bit of a cult following of men who admire Anakin and women who want him...

But a tragedy is something that happens to someone who is innocent, someone who does not bring disaster on himself, not someone who twists words and actions around to suit his own selfish desires. If Anakin had been strong, and manly, and somehow turned to the dark side against his will, perhaps while performing some heroic act, then it would have been a tragedy. Then the man in the black armored suit would have made more sense.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the prequels, because of Obi-Wan and his inherent goodness, because of all those lightsabers....because I'd been given the Jedi Knights in all the glory I'd dreamed of all those years.

But I feel like I was cheated out of my villain...

What I Learned from a Small Town Con

Yes, I know Phoenix, Arizona is the eighth largest city in the US. Or it is higher than that? And we just hosted the Super Bowl. But as far as Sci-Fi goes, it's a second or third class city.

But going to a con here was educational. I learned that most Star Wars content is generated by Star Wars fans. If the Rebel Legion and the 501st hadn't been out there with their respective training camps for kids, there would have been very little Star Wars there.

I learned that fans of anime will wear ANYTHING, and either their parents are nuts, or they smuggled those costumes out of the house and put them on after they arrived. See-through underwear and a fur shawl are NOT attractive on a 14 year-old girl...

I learned that Zombies are cool...

I learned that Peter Mayhew was not happy with Chewbacca's fate in the EU, and in fact received an autographed copy of the offending book with the message, "sorry mate, someone had to do it!"

I also learned from Jeremy Bulloch that Boba Fett survived in side the Sarlaac Pitt by operating a fast food counter...

I did NOT learn the significance of "FREE HUGS" and I hope I never do....

I also did not learn the significance of knitted caps... but they were popular enough to keep a table busy most of the time.... And it wasn't cold out...

And why are Trekkie costumes so lame?

I learned that a Jedi should be prepared for anything, and that includes carrying an umbrella in the desert. Ever wonder what a Jedi carries in her belt pouches? Emergency supplies vital to the survival of the galaxy... safety pins, hair pins, makeup, breath mints, quarters for the coke machine...

I also learned that wearing tights under a skirted costume is a wise idea, unless one is young and has luscious thighs... also learned that putting on said tights is difficult when one hasn't worn pantyhose in seven years....

I also learned that a small con is more focused on buying and selling than it is on activities....so take lots of money...

Bring your own food and drinks...

And also, one day of attendance would probably be sufficient for Star Wars fans, if you study the schedule in advance... fortunately this con put out a schedule in advance, putting it up a few notches on the scale of organization....

The most important thing I learned? The sound of a lightsaber is recognizable ANYWHERE! Even a rainy parking lot...