It's a Technological Terror! (12/22/06)

Does it have push buttons? Confessions of a Jetsons junkie...

Posted on the OS on 12/22/2006.

When I was a child I hated anything "old-fashioned" and loved our 1960s technology. We had all the modern conveniences...We had a phone in our house... one phone, installed by and belonging to the phone company, with a 5-digit phone number. Long distance required an operator was only used for dire emergencies.... We wrote letters instead...

We had a TV, too... a black & white console... we got 4 channels... if you've ever laughed at Jeff Foxworthy's lament about the President being on every channel, hear me now when I tell you it was TRUE!

My dad had a radio on the kitchen table that plugged into the wall... it only got AM, but then again, we only had one station in town... I had a record player, too...

Hey, it was the dawn of the Space Age... I thought we had it all... then one day I saw a rocket ship go up on TV... and I knew there were a lot of things out there I didn't understand. Top that off with a healthy dose of Star Trek, and The Jetsons and a technology junkie was born!

Before the 60s were over we had a color TV, a 4-track tape deck in the car, a stereo, and an extension phone in the house... with a 7-digit number! I acquired a transistor radio, an instamatic camera and a cassette tape recorder... I loved anything with push buttons...

In 1969 my brother took me to see a computer room... this was not a spare bedroom converted into a home office, it was the entire floor of a large building in a large city and it was LOUD... packed with 7-foot tall machines running reel-to-reel tapes and reading punched cards...

That was THEN....I like NOW better!

NOW, I have a desktop PC and a laptop, two PDAs, a MP3 player, a digital camera, and a high-def TV that gets 180 channels... I send emails to my mom and instant messages to my grandsons... I have a wireless modem that allows me to connect almost anywhere...

And I have a phone that suspiciously resembles a Star Trek communicator... it fits into my pocket and works almost anywhere in the country... and it has a 10-digit number...

Our technological progress can now be gauged by the length of our telephone numbers...

Fun in the Afternoon! OR If Only I'd Had $100

Fun can happen in the most unexpected places...

Today I went to Fry's Electronics in search of a replacement video card, and I discovered a display stacked full of Master Replica Lightsabers! Of course I had to stop and play with Obi-Wan's and then went on about my business...

About 20 minutes later I was on my way out and passing by the same display and saw two young men with puzzled looks on their faces.... "Well, whose is this one?" I heard... " and "This one's PURPLE!"

So of course I had to step in and educate them, helped them find the on and off switches, showed them how to make that cool humming noise by waving the saber around... then we discussed the effect of fluorescent store lighting on lightsaber blades...

Normally, I never talk to strangers.... But...

Suddenly they weren't people half my age that I'd never seen before, and hopefully I was no longer some crazy old lady swooshing a lightsaber around a computer store... we were people who had something in common! This was a STAR WARS MOMENT!

I think the tall one was going to buy the Mace Windu model.... I still think the Obi-Wan model is sweet...

If only I'd had $100...

It Doesn't Look a Bit Like Christmas!!!

/begin singing... Christmas time is here... /end singing

The presents have been bought, and wrapped, and shipped... they've even arrived at their destination safely...

We have plane tickets, train tickets, a taxi reservation, and new luggage...

Katnobi has a reservation at the local kennel and new blankie to take with him...he's even got his own personal stash of his favorite foods...

My MP3 is loaded up with Christmas songs, and my PDA with ebooks for the trip... the laptop hard drive has been cleaned off to make room for all the digital photos I'm going to take...

So, you're wondering what's the problem? I tell you the problem... I CAN'T WAIT! I do not have the patience that a good Jedi should have... I'm even having trouble watching SW movies... i keep hitting the fast forward button...

It's barely been a month since I left my Padawans, and I can't wait to get back and see them again. Two more weeks.... Two more weeks.... 14 days... 14 long, boring days...

There won't be anyone here for Christmas, so there's no decorating going on, no cookie baking... no fudge making... no package shaking to try to guess the contents...

So for all of you who are worrying that you won't have time to get everything done before Christmas... chill! It could always be worse...

One thing about all this waiting, though... it's making me feel like a youngling again...

Dear Santa OR All I Want This Year is My Mind Back...

Dear Santa,

Absence does not always make the heart grow fonder... sometimes absence brings the heart and mind a little peace... like the absence of loud stereos in cars on my street, or the absence of junk mail...

And if you're going to do junk mail, Santa, how about wiping out all the spam, scams, chain letters and phony prayers that clutter my email?

I know you can't get rid of all the commercials on TV, but how about we never have to see another ad for diet pills, male enhancement products or the Video Professor?

If I never see another offer for "identity theft protection" it'll be too soon... trust me, there's nothing to protect... no one would want my identity!

I'd also like, and this is not just for me, but for everyone.... the absence of monster and horror movies from the Sci-Fi channel... wait, don't even get me started there...

Santa, please take all those people who think Star Wars is just for geeks and lock them up at the south pole...I know everyone here would appreciate it...

Thanks Santa, I'll try to be good enough the rest of the year to deserve all this, but if I slip up and shove a bell down a bell-ringer's throat will you forgive me?

Love,

Granny

The Dark Side of Padme' OR I Happen to Like Nice Men...

Whenever I watch AOTC I wonder what made Padme fall in love with Anakin. Yes, he was cute and flirtatious, and they had a fun together at their little lakeside hideaway, but he was so YOUNG...

Younger than she was, and in many ways he was still a child. He couldn't hold his temper, he was jealous, he pouted like a 4 year old, and yet she found him irresistible. So irresistible that she overcame her own good sense and admitted that she loved him.

After that tantrum in the garage on Tatooine she should have run away as fast as she could, but instead she fell in love... Go figure...

But then, I've never understood the attraction of the bad boy.... I happen to like nice men...

The other possibility is that Anakin awakened Padme's motherly instinct. All the same factors apply... he's young, cute and needs a lot of emotional support. She tried over and over to help him, as padmeskywalker77 pointed out earlier today, but to no avail.

When Anakin and Padme reunited after the Battle of Coruscant, Anakin declares, "I don't care if they know we're married!" Padme chides him for this, but moments later, after disclosing her pregnancy, she asks, "What are we going to do?"

In Matthew Stover's novel of ROTS, Padme thinks "her husband needs to be a Jedi" so even though she realizes they have a problem, she still tries to protect Anakin, like a mother would.

I really don't understand that sort of attraction either... I happen to like nice men who are grown up...

Please don't misunderstand me, I loved the character of Padme... until she gives up and dies on the delivery room table... that just doesn't fit into the character of the strong, self assured woman that Padme was in Episodes 1 & 2. In her databank entry, it says, "Padmé gasped for breath as life began to escape from her," and that despite medical treatment her life signs, "continued to dwindle" until she died. To me, that supports the idea that Anakin caused the very thing he tried to prevent, her death.

So, I still don't understand the attraction.... I guess it was just lust! {LOL}

I'm Back With Random Thoughts....

The quality of blogs seems to have improved lately. Maybe back-to-school has cut down on the free time of teeny-bopper crowd... hopefully they'll learn some spelling and grammar while they're at it... I bet I'm showing my age by using the term "teeny-bopper" {LOL}

Recently I listened to the audiobook of "Bloodlines"... what a stinker that was. I got bored by the end of the third CD (there were five). I lost count of how many times the term "cold-blooded killer" was used in a scene with Han Solo... if this was some sort of veiled defense of the changing of the Han-Greedo cantina scene, it doesn't work... of course Han killed people in the past, he was a pirate and a Rebel soldier... his freedom was worth fighting for, and fighting a war includes killing... this book turns everyone including Luke into some sort of sissy-pants pacifist...

I hate it when bits of our universe intrude into the Star Wars universe... like Ben saying "Force forgive me" like an earthling would say "God forgive me"... the Force is not a being, supreme or otherwise, that can grant forgiveness... it's an energy field... and Han saying "The proverbial bad feeling." The bad feeling that a Jedi gets is real; it's totally disrespectful to call it proverbial... it's proverbial to us in this universe, not to those in the GFFA....

And Boba Fett is still chasing bounties at age 70? Puleeeze... this guy should have stayed in the Sarlaac Pit... the only good thing about having him in this book is the revelation that he's dying (again)... if you're thinking about replying about how great Boba and/or the Mandalorians are, don't bother... my delete finger is already itchy...

The best thing I can say about this book is that in listening to it while sewing Halloween costumes I didn't waste and time over it, and in borrowing the CDs I didn't spend any money on it...

Next book up is "Outbound Flight" as soon as the library gets it in... l have high hopes for that, since I like Timothy Zahn's work...

Now Halloween, that's something fun to talk about... My Grand-Padawans dressed up as Luke and Vader... This was their first year living in a small town where they could go trick-or-treating, and they had a major blast! We found a street with three blocks worth of houses intensely decorated and ran it from one end to the other... it was freezing out, but they didn't care... I wore my Jedi costume, but you don't get to see a picture... sorry...ha!

Their Dad built a bonfire in his yard, and played with fire enough to give us the Delorean Effect... I'd rather use the camera for special effects....

All in all, spending Halloween on Endor was a great time... If you're really interested you can see it here and here....

Thanksgiving has come and gone without fanfare at Granny and Grampa's house... as usual I'm thankful for Star Wars (and the invention of the DVD)... I tried to remember anything momentous from Thanksgiving 1977, my first post-Star Wars turkey day, but I couldn't think of anything...

We're happily planning our trip to C-4... I guess I need to make a costume for Grampy-Wan to wear... I'm wearing the Jedi garb, of course...

"And that be all" for now, I don't know if I'm back for good or not... only time will tell...

Index to the Past

Hello everyone, I'm still resting my brain... but I've moved all my entries to my personal blog for safekeeping!

Episode 17: I Sense a Plot to Destroy the Jedi (9/4/06) - I like my heroes on the GOOD side...


Episode Sixteen: Notes from a Traveling Jedi (8/12/06) - Get your kicks on Route 666.... Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may be in Utah... Things are not always what they seem...

Episode 15: You Must Do What You Feel is Right, of Course... (7/24/2006) - Finding your density... uh, I mean fighting your destiny... Anakin Skywalker vs. Sir Lancelot...no, not a poll, not a duel, just a random comparison...

Episode 14 Skinny-Dipping on Tatooine (7/11/2006) - Where would you go if you left Tatooine? It's hot and it's dry... but the water is clear and suits are optional!

Episode 13: My Trip to Endor and Back (7/3/2006) - The Search for Serenity and WI-FI... Snarking on the Left, Snarking on the Right... Red, White & Blue Milk...

Not an Episode: Granny-Wan's Day Out (6/9/2006) - No Ancient Jedi Wisdom today, just a movie recommendation for Cars... and ice cream advice...

Episode Twelve: The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth (6/7/2006) - Back on the homepage.... Does everybody know what time it is? It's time for the geeks to strike back...

Episode 11: A Padawan Sings in Jabba's Bathtub (6/2/2006) - The invention of a new weapon, a refreshing weapon, from a more fluidic age... I know where the Empire's hiding ... More things that bug me...

Episode 10: A New Order? I Don't Think So! (5/29/2006) - Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your movie...

Episode 9: Meanwhile, Back on Tatooine (5/27/2006) - Two Jedi, a clone trooper, and a Protocol Droid leading a gundark walk into a cantina... But, seriously...

Episode Eight: Alphabet Slop (5/28/2006) - I'm going to watch Star Wars... Oh, you ask, will that be the OT or the PT? How about the OOT, or is it the UOT? Do you have it on VHS or DVD? Are you watching on TV, PC or PSP? If I were a man, I could watch it in my BVDs... all this is too much for my ADD...

Episode Seven: Teardrops on Kittens (5/22/2006) - A Hiss Lord meets The Force...


A Brief Pause for a Two-Line Blog (5/16/2006)- Is anyone out there? I got something to say! I know that's poor grammer....and I wonder if anyone ever told Anakin it's "better to burn out than fade away...?"


Granny-Wan's Holiday Special (Mothers Day 2006) - A Tribute to The Great One... A Love Affair with Technology... Why isn't George's birthday a holiday?

Episode Six: A Lot of Things Mean Little... (5/12/2006) - ...But little things can mean a lot...A night on a Medstar... Jedi in Jammies...

Episode Five: Attack of the Action Figures! (5/2/2006) - Attack of the Action Figures...Revenge of the Trailers: YOU'LL LAUGH, YOU'LL CRY, YOU'LL KISS THREE BUCKS GOODBYE... Memories from a long, LONG, time ago, in a state not too far away...

Episode 4: ...And in Star Wars, Truth! (4/23/2006) - There is truth in beauty, and in Star Wars, truth... Lines we'd like to hear in the next Special Editions...Star Wars pops up in the strangest places...

Episode 3: Out of the Mouths of Younglings (4/20/2006) - Padawns say that darndest things...Is the Empire hiding in my neighborhood? The younglings have Jedi cats.

Episode Two: Becoming a Fanatic (4/17/2006) - How I became a fan, started a trend, discovered a Sith... and was undone by evil...

Episode One: My First Entry (4/17/2006) testing the waters!

Episode 17: I Sense a Plot to Destroy the Jedi (9/4/06)

It's no secret that I think a lot, but not all of the EU is really P.U. (as in stinky, for our non-American friends)... but I am deeply disturbed the recent trend to bash our heroes...

I've always found the popularity of stormtroopers amusing... after all, the stormtroopers are the klutzes of the Empire, banging their heads, tripping over each other, missing all those crucial shots... but I do not like the fascination with clone troopers and the Mandolorians that has developed recently...

The clone troopers may have come from Mandolorian stock, but they were raised on Kamino in a controlled environment... they wouldn't have any cultural affiliations at all. They were genetically engineered to be totally obedient, according to Lama Su... trained to fight for the Republic... no amount of information fed into their brains would be the same as growing up in the society... and they weren't smart enough to realize that killing the Jedi is WRONG...or they just weren't brave enough to go against Order 66. They were traitors!

Then there's the Post-ROTJ EU...

Luke turning to the Dark Side? PU! And Luke and Mara should have had several children to help re-populate the Jedi... at least Leia did her part, but now poor Anakin Solo is dead, killed in an attack he should have been able to avoid and Jacen Solo is turning evil... so evil he doesn't even respond to the love of his parents... Vader was saved by the love for his son and he was lot further down the dark path than Jacen...

And Luke can't save his own nephew from the Dark Side? I don't think so... Luke is the most powerful Jedi who ever lived, and he's pure of heart... untainted by the anger and fear that turned his father into a Sith Lord...

Darth Vader returned to the good side of the Force before he died, the Rebels destroyed the Death Star, and the people of the galaxy celebrated... the EU could have expanded on this, instead it makes our heroes out to be weak, and ineffectual... That's P.U.

I want my heroes to be the Good Guys, and I want them to shine! I want me Jedi to be the guardians of peace and justice, not sniveling, weak minded, chickenhearted wimps. And want my villains to be the Bad Guys, not the heroes. I don't admire the villains... I love to hate them.

Boba Fett died in ROTJ... He was so tasty the Sarlaac belched after swallowing him... and the audiences cheered..... so deal with it!


FURTHER CLARIFICATION:
I didn't mean it all stinks! I've read some good stuff, and some great stuff!

GREAT:
Darth Maul, Shadow Hunter
Labyrinth of Evil
Shadows of the Empire
Tatooine Ghost (most recent read)
All 6 movie novelizations
Dark Lord: The Rise of Darth Vader

Good:
Shatterpoint
Cloak of Deception
Rogue Planet
I, Jedi (at first I hated this one but it grew on me)
Betrayal

Jedi Trail was OK, as was The Approaching Storm

I just don't care for this trend in hero bashing.

Back in the olden days of TV, my dad would always tell me "The star won't get killed...." and he was right, not because it was a continuing story that it would have made a difference in, but becuase the star was the HERO!

Episode Sixteen: Notes from a Traveling Jedi

Notes from a Traveling Jedi

Get your kicks on Route 666…. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow you may be in Utah… Things are not always what they seem…

It’s always struck me as a little odd that most of the planets in the GFFA have a singular climate… Hoth is an ice planet, Tatooine is a desert planet, Dagobah is a swamp planet, Endor is totally forested… only Naboo seems to have more than one environment on its surface…but here on Earth we have everything…

I’ve made two trips to Endor this summer… this last trip we took the time on the way home to get the heck off the Interstates and see some things for a change…

Traveling is a great way to learn a lot of inconsequential facts… For example:

In Utah they call all their weigh stations “Ports of Entry” no matter where they are located in the state…

The Navajo language, when translated into written English, seems to contain a lot of apostrophes, so when Science Fiction writers use that trick to make names sound alien, they aren’t creating anything new… Navajo is the most alien language on Earth, if judged by its complexity…

Things are not always what they seem, either…. The Green River is brown, “Clean” and “Comfortable” are relative terms, and “Scenic Viewpoint” does not necessarily indicate something you really want to look at…

“National Forest” does not necessarily mean there are trees… they are really preserves for the natural vegetation of that particular area…. It’s just that “National Scrubland” or “National Wasteland” doesn’t sound as inviting…

Towns with the word “Falls” in their name don’t really mean there are waterfalls there…

You can flavor almost anything with Huckleberries, and antlers make a fine chandelier…

Driving a hybrid electric car on top of a mountain range during an electrical storm brings up a lot of interesting thoughts…

There are a very few neon signs left… who decided that a sign made of cheesy plastic with a fluorescent light inside looks better???

Local eateries are almost always superior to national chains… I had awesome breakfasts, the world’s greatest tuna melt, Montana’s best burger, and the galaxy’s most fabulous tomato soup, all at small local places…(OK, the soup place was a chain, but they only have 5 locations and they’re all family run)… the Shake Shack in Monticello, Utah made a shake so thick I had to eat most of it with spoon…

So what happened to all the frosty shops? Before the Interstates, and their evil cousins the hamburger chains, there was at least one in every town… heck, my home town had one CALLED “The Frostie Shop” but here’s all that’s left of it now… {Frostie Shop Sign}

What really disturbs me is the ones that have been turned into Coffee places… don’t get me wrong, I love coffee in the morning or on a cold winter night, but are we all in such a hurry that we have to charge up on caffeine 24/7? And miss the fun of a frosty cone or a chocolate shake on hot summer night…

US Highway 666 has been renamed US-491… it had been number 666 since it was first planned in 1926, since it was the sixth branch of the famous Route 66…nothing sinister about it… what a bunch of superstitious nonsense… Sticks and Stones… What’s next, no 13^th Street? Will we have to call Devil’s Tower “A Really Big Giant Rock?” I’m afraid of big bugs, I think I’ll start lobbying the state of Arizona to change the name of Big Bug Creek…

So now I’m on my way home… we’ve just gone through the remains of the Apache-Sitgreaves National Forest, which actually DID have trees in it until the summer of 2002 when some idiot set it on fire so he could get a job as a firefighter…(he’s in prison)... It’s very, very sad to look at… Imagine Endor crispy fried…

Young Ani told Qui-Gon he wanted to visit every star… too ambitious for me, I’d be happy to see very National Park & Monument, Historical Marker and War Memorial in the US… and all the waterfalls, with or with out a city name…

Episode 15: You Must Do What You Feel is Right, of Course... (7/24/2006)

Finding your density... uh, I mean fighting your destiny... Anakin Skywalker vs. Sir Lancelot...no, not a poll, not a duel, just a random comparison...


Posted on the OS on July 24, 2006.


This entry inspired by EDB and JMM...
And a special credit to my sister for the King Arthur story...

In my dim memory of high school English, I remember a story told by a man who found his true love, but she was already married. They met everyday in public, never touching, but one day she tells him she can't see him anymore. So he kisses her goodbye and walks away. He does the right thing.

In Arthurian legend when Lancelot falls in love with the King's wife he exiles himself into the deep forest. He tells Arthur that his wounds are bothering him and he must go until they are healed. Arthur asks him if he will be gone long, and Lancelot replies that it will be a long time because his wounds are deep. But he walks away from his love rather than betray her and his King. He does the right thing.

Anakin Skywalker had a choice to make. He chose to marry Padme, even though it was forbidden by the Jedi code. He did the wrong thing, and he knew it was wrong... so he then chose to keep it a secret even from his best friend.

What if Anakin Skywalker had walked away from Padme? Would he still have fallen to the dark side? Or, what if he had left the Jedi order? Would he have lived a long and happy life on Naboo as the respected husband of a senator, playing with his children at the lake, fixing things around the house... or was the lure of fame and glory too much to resist?

Obi-Wan Kenobi does the right thing when he leaves Vader's fate to the will of the Force on Mustafar... but what if he'd gone back and made sure he was dead?

Galactic history would certainly have been different, but would it have been better? Would Sidious have found a new apprentice to terrorize the galaxy? I'm not sure another man could have terrorized the galaxy the way Vader did... all that hate and anger and grief must have been boiling inside him... remember a Sith relies on passion for strength... and a passionate hate is a strong passion indeed...

Luke believes he's doing the right thing when he leaves Dagobah to save Han and Leia, and he's willing to risk his life to do it. He's willing to risk his life again when he surrenders to Vader at Endor rather than endanger his friends and their mission. He does the right thing.

Why is Luke strong where Anakin was weak? Neither of them was raised in the Jedi tradition... They both had fear and anger... Anakin loses his mother, but Luke loses his aunt and uncle, the only family he knew... how could one turn out so right where the other turned so wrong? Was it their destinies?

Sidious tells Luke his destiny is to kill his father and take his place with the Empire, but he chooses to die rather than turn to the dark side... (I'm not counting anything that happens in the EU so don't bring it up)

I know he attacks Vader in anger on the Death Star, but he's protecting Leia, and that's honorable. Jedi are the defenders of peace and justice after all.

I don't think much of destiny... ordinary people don't think about their destinies, and neither did Luke Skywalker... he just went about his life doing the best he could... but he always seemed to do the right thing.

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH US ALL!

Episode 14 Skinny-Dipping on Tatooine (7/11/2006)

Where would you go if you left Tatooine? It's hot and it's dry... but the water is clear and suits are optional!

Originally posted on the OS on July 11, 2006.

Most of you know I have two Padawans, my grandsons who are 8 and 5.
They and their parents just moved to Montana, after living in our house for the past four years.... The silence is deafening!

As much as I miss the little boys, I'm starting to remember what privacy is... swimsuits are once again optional at my house... heh heh... I was never blessed by the Force with any athletic abilities and now that I am middle-aged and overweight, I am a super klutz... but in the pool I am free of most gravity and graceful and sleek...

When I moved here I refused to even look at a house that didn't have a pool... I wasn't being snobby, a lot of folks her in Arizona have pools... they aren't just for the rich... but I had always wanted one... so it isn't much of a pool, but it's mine and suits are optional... I can exercise my aching back and my aging knee and feel good about it... and since it's stinkin' hot here in the summer it's the only activity I can stand to participate in...

Which makes me wonder about life on Tatooine... if water costs 10 credits for a glass just to drink, how much to take a shower? Never mind swimming... it's no wonder Luke didn't know what a duck was...

"Water is Life, Don't Waste It," they say here in the southwest, and it's true. We drink it, we water our crops with it, and that's just to survive. We also wash and cook in it, grow trees for shade and build fountains and fake waterfalls to help cool us off, ... Only in Arizona would they build a lake in a dry riverbed...which is dry because it's dammed upstream so we can have water to fill our pools and our fake lakes...

As a child I played in the sprinklers and took cool showers when it was hot... On Tatooine do they ever know the sensation of cool water running down their backs? Did young Luke ever own a Slip 'n Slide? There's no sign of vegetation, no shade, no rivers... It's no wonder Obi-Wan was a little crazy, I would have lost it just for the want of seeing a green tree...

Montana is like Naboo, I suppose, or Endor... green forests... water in the rivers and creeks...

I suppose some people went there to avoid the government (Sort of like Montana!) but others who were stuck there must have resented it... It's no wonder Luke thought he was the furthest from the bright center of the universe that he could get...

They never say what they learned in school... do you suppose they studied Galactic Geography? Holocrons of clean and green worlds, or water worlds, or places like Hoth... did they dream of visiting them?

Everything on Tatooine was dry and stark...

If Owen & Beru packed up the landspeeder for the family vacation, where did they go???

Episode 13: My Trip to Endor and Back (7/3/2006)

The Search for Serenity and WI-FI... Snarking on the Left, Snarking on the Right... Red, White & Blue Milk...

If anyone's been wondering where I've been, and you probably haven't been, I've been on a tour of the galaxy!

Three weeks ago I left Tattooine in a rented spaceship, along with my youngest Padawan and his mom. After some shuffling around of family members at a California spaceport, Grampa and I took off with both Padawans in a stuffed car... the boys hadn't seen each other for two months, so they were full of yakety-yak for the first hour... even sitting right next to each other in the back seat...like peace in the GFFA, that wasn't going to last...

After a nice week at the Senior Granny-Wan's, we started off towards Endor, also known as Montana... I kept the boys separated in the car, one on the left, and one on the right with a potted redwood tree in between them... Not even that lovely bit of nature stopped them from getting snarky with each other... when the left window was down, the other wanted it up, and vice versa... whoever had the MP3 wanted the Game Boy... it's a wonder that tree survived...

We did find some peace and serenity at Crater Lake... the weather was perfect, and all that snow still on the mountains reminded me of Alderaan... if you've never seen Crater Lake, you should! It's the bluest water you'll ever see... a piece of nature unspoiled! Don't forget to take mosquito repellant...

Check it out.... Jake & Tyler at Crater Lake

This picture was taken just before the older one discovered that the youngling had chewed his entire pack of Juicy Fruit...

It was really difficult to find WI-FI when I needed it... it seemed I either had time to write or a wireless connection, but never both at the same time... I also had new books with me, Dark Lord and Betrayal... and no time to read...

Montana is beautiful... the air was clean, the temperature cool, there's water in the creeks and stars in the sky...more snow-capped mountains, and lots and lots of trees... We visited an Amish log home building company... very impressive...

I did get some time on a broadband connection and watched Blue Milk from the Atom Films site... my older Padawan and I both give it 4 stars (5 stars being reserved for Pink Five). It's hilarious!

After a week I had to leave... and leave my Padawans there... there were some tears, and not just from the youngling... I haven't mastered the letting go thing yet... and those lucky kids get to live there!!!!


Now I'm back home on Tattoine... it's hot, the air is dirty, the traffic loud... the house is just too quiet with just Grampa and me...one of these days I'll be sending my blogs from my log house in the woods!

I finally got to read Dark Lord on the way home...(4 out of 5 stars) but I haven't started Betrayal yet (Sorry, Aaron) but it's at the top of my list...

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH US ALL!

Not an Episode: Granny-Wan's Day Out (6/9/2006)

Originally posted on June 9, 2006.

No Ancient Jedi Wisdom today, just a movie recommendation for Cars... and ice cream advice...

I don't leave the hut very often in the summer time, except to go to the backyard pool... but today I went to see CARS with my youngest Padawan.

This movie is cuuuuuuuute! Keep in mind that it's a KIDS movie. There are plenty of jokes for to keep oldsters laughing, but the story is really just "Doc Hollywood" set on Route 66.

Padawan Jakester deemed it "hilarious" and he really loved the soundtrack.

The animation is outstanding! Too bad Pixar didn't do Clone Wars...

The animated scenery of Interstate 40 reminded me of the too many times I've traveled across it... (I've been across the continental divide so many times I don't know which direction to spit...) Pay particular attention to the red rock hills around Radiator Springs!

I recommend this if you have a youngling to take with you! Otherwise, wait for the DVD!

IMPORTANT: Don't leave before the end credits are over!!!

I also recommend seeing this in a theatre with a Cold Stone Creamery next-door... coffee ice cream with Heath Bar... mmmmmm....

May the sugar force be with you!

Episode Twelve: The Geek Shall Inherit the Earth (6/7/2006)

Back on the homepage.... Does everybody know what time it is? It's time for the geeks to strike back...

Originally posted on the OS on June 7, 2006

FROM THE SW HOMEPAGE: Star Wars.com Highlights: Super Deformed Boba Fett! This really strikes me as funny... or frightening...


I've read a few blog entries lately concerning geekdom... or nerdiness... or whatever you want to call it... Star Wars fans are geeks and nerds, we never associate with the opposite sex and we all live in our mothers' basements... Yeah, I've seen and heard it all before, but what I don't understand is... WHY?

We all know it's a bunch of bunk, but this misconception seems to have taken on a life of it's own. Like the most stubborn of urban legends, it refuses to die...

Sports fans paint letters on their bare chests in freezing weather, dye their hair and redecorate their houses in team colors and it's fun. Young people get tattoos and piercings and dress to match their favorite rock group and it's cool. Teenagers wear the name of their clothes designer on the front of their shirts and it's fashion... but go out in a Star Wars T-shirt and you're a geek or a weirdo...

I watched a show a while back called When Star Wars Ruled the World and there were several video bytes from a man who apparently is a movie person of some kind (Sorry, I don't remember who or what, exactly) about being a fan when he was a kid. He told how he was glad when the OT was finished because he didn't know how much more of his life he could devote to Star Wars and still have any hope of ever getting... ahem... [affection from the opposite gender].

All I could think of was, "Don't blame Star Wars...if you lost a few pounds, dressed better, and didn't say such dumb things, then a woman might want to associate with you!" (NOTE TO THOSE WITH SENSITIVITY ISSUES: I am overweight and a lousy dresser, so I can say things like that...) But don't even get me started on the myth that girls don't like Star Wars...

Look at the group we have here... some are married, or working on it; we have jobs and families, and hobbies... I haven't heard one person say they live in a basement...

We have SD_GreyJedi, who's a member of a group who dresses up in Star Wars costumes and visits children's hospitals, and autistic children. And we have Terek Rool reminding us that blood donations help save lives.

Lord_Noctifer is sharing the trials and tribulations of wedding planning with us. We have shared the joy of amidalooine's daughter's graduation, the stress of Jedi Master Mina's new job, and adventure of Oboe-Wan moving to Tatooine.

I've shared the fun of grandmotherhood and the sorrow of the death of a kitten with everyone and received a wealth of friendship in response.

Does this sound like a group of losers? I don't think so! (My favorite Obi-Wan Kenobi line)

For me, it's just an annoyance. For those with jobs and social lives, it's a little harder. For the teenage crowd it's the hardest, I'm sure, in that High School world where everyone wants to be the same, but who decides what's cool and what isn't?

Hang on to your differences, there will come a day when you cherish them!

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH US ALL!

Episode 11: A Padawan Sings in Jabba's Bathtub (6/2/2006)

The invention of a new weapon, a refreshing weapon, from a more fluidic age... I know where the Empire's hiding ... More things that bug me... No, this isn't going to be about bugs, someone's already covered that topic recently enough to give me the willies...

It really bugs me when I fail to notice a silly mistake... much like the one that led to my posting Episode 10 Special Edition right here in my own blog... I was finally putting that article review away for the last time when it dawned on me (for a night owl I get a lot of dawning moments) that I'd missed something else...

When talking about the scene between Vader and the holographic Emperor in the special edition of The Empire Strikes Back, the author says something about additional lines given to Ian McDiarmid and Hayden Christensen... well, we all know who the voice of Darth Vader is, and it ISN'T Hayden Christensen...not in that movie or any other... duh...

OK, enough picking on that issue of SW Insider, I really need to get a new SW book... so I go to Amazon and do a search for Star Wars and I get 3,566 hits... and that's just for books...I know there are not 3,566 different titles out there... that really BUGS ME....


Why does everyone in Ep. 3 say "this war?" No one ever says "the war" until near the end when Obi-Wan says "It appears the chancellor is behind everything, including the war!" There's only one war going on, the only one in the last years... it's not that "this" is grammatically incorrect, but it just seems natural that someone, somewhere would say THE war occasionally...

It bugs me that the soundtrack during the end credits has been cut on the DVD... if you haven't heard it on the soundtrack, there's a terrific new arrangement of the Throne Room March from Ep. 4 that comes right after the Battle of the Heroes segment...

It bugs me that after a year on starwars.com, and a couple of months of blogging, and I still don't understand Bravo 225's skirt reference...



I know where the Empire is hiding out... Ebay... no, I'm not talking about price gouging on collectibles... I'm talking about their administration... There's nothing like being accused, tried, convicted and punished without prior notice, without benefit of defense, and not much avenue of appeal...not to mention that I'm innocent of the supposed violation... I've submitted evidence of my innocence and they are keeping me dangling about re-instating my account...by FAX no less (how quaint)... they suspended me last Saturday morning and then took the holiday weekend off.... And I'm STILL waiting... May The Force give me patience...


I was outside tonight hosing off the patio with the sprayer nozzle on the garden hose while my youngest Padawan was in the pool... he kept saying, "Granny, I want the hose, I want the hose....when can I have the hose?" So I gave it to him... heh-heh-heh...

Actually, he loved it, he was twirling around singing "Singing in the rain, just singing in the... bathtub.." I don't know where that came from... Jabba's bathrub, maybe...

Then a bee came buzzing after him, and another one, so I turned the sprayer to the hardest, narrowest stream and shot it at the bees... just like a lightsaber... so I've invented the wetsaber... or, as I like to call it, the COOLsaber... like I said, it's a refreshing weapon, from a more fluidic age...


I hope my typing hasn't been too bad for this entry, thank the Force for spell check...except the stupid thing doesn't think "lightsaber" is a word...

You see, I got this new vegetable slicer...and it's hard to type with nine fingers and one big band-aid...

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH US ALL...

Episode 10: A New Order? I Don't Think So! (5/29/2006)

Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your movie...

Originally posted on the OS on May 29, 2006

As I mentioned in my last entry, there's an article in Star Wars Insider #86 called "A New Order" by J.W. Rinzler about viewing our favorite movies in numerical order. "Now that Episode III is out on DVD, future generations will watch the Star Wars saga in Chronological story order-what does that mean?"

First off, people can watch them in whatever order they want... geez... but mostly the article is explaining how much better it would be to see the six installments in their proper order.

Well, in the immortal words of Obi-Wan Kenobi, "I don't think so!"

I'm not going to go through every point of the article, because frankly, that would be boring and my attention span isn't long enough for that. I had enough trouble finishing the article the first time... too much shaking my head, saying "no, no, nooo, that's not good..."

One point I just have to address is the one about Darth Vader surviving the battle of the death star. Sequels were not common in the 70s, so I can understand a young child not realizing the significance of DV spinning off into space. Nowadays, sequels are as common these days as sand in the desert, so even a person who knows nothing about Star Wars will assume he survives to appear in another movie. And, besides that, there are two movies sitting the box waiting to be watched, and Vader's on the cover!

My point is, it has nothing to do with what order you watched the movies in! There's nothing in the PT to indicate that DV is going to be in Episodes 5 & 6.

I am so glad I saw the movies in the order that I did. If I ever meet someone who's never seen the saga, who knows nothing about the saga (yeah, right), I will recommend that they see it as I did, Episodes 4,5,6,1,2,3. Now, I don't recommend waiting years in between episodes, especially those 16 years between Return of the Jedi and The Phantom Menace... but hey, if you want to go authentic... but if you try to wait 16 years and you die before you see the complete saga, don't come complaining to me...

I admit I like "prequel moments," those times when I'm watching a movie and the light bulb goes on... "Oh! That's how that happened..." or "I know what that's from..."

One of the greatest "prequel moments" for me was at the end of The Phantom Menace... when Mace Windu says, "But which was destroyed, the master or the apprentice?" and the camera pans to the right and focuses on Palpatine... who we know from the OT as THE EMPEROR!

But beyond that, I think viewing the PT first simplifies the story too much. Some people may like it that way, but I feel it takes away a lot of the depth and wonder of the story.

When we first meet Obi-Wan Kenobi, he is a total mystery. Luke thinks of him as a crazy old hermit, and we are as amazed as Luke is to learn about "Old Ben" as the story unfolds. The amazement when he saves Luke from the drunk in the cantina...(which gives us a great "prequel moment" in Episode Two).

Do we really need background information to know that Obi-Wan was at peace when he sacrificed himself to Vader? Sir Alec's terrific acting conveyed that to me way back in 1977... "If you strike me down I will grow more powerful than you can possibly imagine..." The look towards Luke, the smile, and then the closed eyes... I knew...

Most of all, if you see the PT before you see The Empire Strikes Back, you're missing out on one of the most jaw-dropping moments in cinematic history...

"No, I am your father!" Instead of that gasp for air, that "NO WAY" running though your brain, you think, "Yeah, I knew that". I still remember my sister, who'd already seen the movie, giving me an elbow to the ribs and whispering, "What do you think of that?"

Then there was that three-year wait to find out if it was really true! In 1983, a group of people I worked with planned an outing to see ROTJ... during work the night before one of them came to my office to confess that he had never seen ANH or ESB! So I gave him a synopsis of the story... and when I got to the part of "no, I am your father" he was SHOCKED! "Is he really?" My friend asked. "You'll find out tomorrow!" I told him. "I had to wait three years to find out, you can wait until tomorrow afternoon." LOL

Like I said, I don't recommend waiting years, but that sort of suspense for even a few hours can be delicious!

There's more of course, but this is getting too long! And I've had Padawan help in writing this (my thanks for the "yeah, right").

I can imagine seeing all six episodes in order, but I can't imagine the story having the same impact. I don't think Episode One would get anyone hooked on Star Wars like the original. I have always believed that Episode Four was made first because it was a great adventure story, self contained without any dangling plot lines... in case it flopped, of course... but still it left us wanting MORE!

And I still want more Star Wars!

Episode Ten Special Edition: Attack of Senility

I forgot to write about one of the best prequel moments in AOTC...A moment I never would have experienced if I'd seen the PT first...

Near the end of Episode II we see Palpatine, Sen. Organa and others standing on a balcony, watching clone troopers boarding star destroyers, and those star destroyers taking off... and we hear The Imperial March for the very first time... I get chills every time, no matter how many times I see it...

Episode 9: Meanwhile, Back on Tatooine (5/27/2006)

Two Jedi, a clone trooper, and a Protocol Droid leading a gundark walk into a cantina... But, seriously....

Two weeks ago I received three issues of Star Wars Insider within a week. Good timing for me, since I was pretty much housebound by hot weather and a bad back. Issue # 86 contains an article called A New Order by J.W. Rinzler, which talks about viewing the saga in chronological order, Episodes 1-6. I'm going to write about that in my next entry, the working title of which is I Don't Think So! but today I want to take issue with something Mr. Rinzler said about my favorite Jedi Master, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Something along the lines of he looks even crazier in not recognizing R2-D2... Man, oh man, I am so SICK of this! So, I'm giving the definitive answer right here, right now... and that answer is...it depends on your point of view!

First of all, who says he doesn't recognize him? Just because he doesn't jump up and down and shout "R2-D2, it IS you!" (Threepio already had that line) doesn't mean he didn't recognize him. Watch the scene closely, when he moves the hood away from his face there's a hint of recognition in his eyes, something that says "this droid looks familiar."

I'm always telling my Padawans "just because you don't see something happen on the screen, right in front of your face, doesn't mean it didn't happen! Think!"

Obi-Wan is a Jedi, after all, he wasn't given to emotional attachments, especially to objects... Anakin would have recognized him because he was a gift from Padme, but to Obi-Wan he was just a droid...a useful and versatile droid, but a droid just the same...

On the other hand, R2 may simply look familiar because he's an R2 unit. In our universe there's only one R2-D2, and he's an icon... but in the GFFA, There's a hundred thousand worlds, and they all have space travel... that's an awful lot of astromech droids... Thousands of them, maybe tens of thousands. . I doubt they are all hand built, so a whole lot of them are going to look exactly like R2-D2.

Incidentally, this is the same reason Owen doesn't recognize C-3PO. He knows he's a protocol droid, but that's all. There are a lot of those around, in fact there's another one on board the Tantive IV! Threepio introduces himself to Luke in the garage, after they are out of Owen's hearing.

Just like Obi-Wan never hears Artoo called by name, not until Luke says "Artoo and Threepio" after they discover the attacked Jawa sandcrawler... by this time there's no way Obi-Wan going to tell Luke anything about the past that he's not ready to hear...He never would have done that, whether he recognized R2 or not...

For a while I was bothered more by the conversation he had with Luke when he told him Uncle Owen "didn't hold with your Father's ideals, thought he should have stayed here and not gotten involved."

"Why would Owen say that, he only met Anakin once", I thought... then I took my own advice to the younglings and thought about it for a minute or five... Owen probably did say it, sometime in those 20 years, that if Anakin had stayed on Tatooine and not gotten involved in all that Jedi business he'd be alive and well then... just because it didn't happen right on the screen didn't mean it didn't happen... Now I'm bothered more by Obi-Wan calling him "Darth" on board the Death Star ... sigh

Oh yeah, the Punch Line... The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

Episode Eight: Alphabet Slop (5/28/2006)

I'm going to watch Star Wars... Oh, you ask, will that be the OT or the PT? How about the OOT, or is it the UOT? Do you have it on VHS or DVD? Are you watching on TV, PC or PSP? If I were a man, I could watch it in my BVDs... all this is too much for my ADD...

Originally posted on the OS on May 28, 2006.

The other day I was lying on my pillow top mattress, resting my cranky back, and I turned on the TV and watched the end of A New Hope... I watched it from the point I stopped it the day before, and at the end I click stop and then started it over, and suddenly a great thought came over me...

If someone had told me, or any Star Wars fanatic, back in 1977, that I could see Star Wars as many times as I wanted, over and over instantly, just by clicking a couple of buttons on a little stick-like box pointed at my TV set, I would have said, in the words of the 70s, "FAR OUT!"

And if someone had said we would see it with improved color and special effects, better explosions, more realistic vehicles, more aliens, and better sound we all would have said, in the words of the 70s,"FAR OUT!"

So I find the latest controversy a little amusing. Nostalgia is a powerful emotion. It can make things seem better in your memory then they really were. With the exception of Coke made with real sugar and mom's cooking, they rarely are.

There's certainly nothing else from the 70s that I miss... polyester clothes, permed hair, cheesy television shows, disco music... and no pillow-top mattresses...

Sure, it might be neat to see "Star Wars" again as I did in 1977, but it might be disappointing, too. Visiting the past doesn't take you to the past... seeing the 1977 version of Star Wars wouldn't make me 21 again, standing in line outside the Cinema 150 with a baby on my hip.

So, watch it for fun if you want, but you can't go back... as much as I'd like to find the tree-hugging hippie that spawned the "Han can't shoot first" garbage ... unless you have a DeLorean... but that's a different movie!

Episode Seven: Teardrops on Kittens (5/22/2006)

A Hiss Lord meets The Force...

I'm sorry to report that one of our Jedi kittens, Vader, Dark Lord of the Hiss, met the Force Friday night after a run-in with a passing land speeder. The Jundland Wastes are not to be traveled lightly, and neither is a six-lane city street. He was only 11 months and 9 days old, and he is survived by his brothers Sith Lightning and Obi-Wan Katnobi.

Only a few days ago I had planned to write about how Vader and Obi-Wan had become like their namesakes. Vader was prowling around the house, announcing his presence, laying down wherever he wanted, and generally trying to rule the household. Obi-Wan usually spends his day in exile, hiding under my bed. Vader was also big and intimidating, and we never knew who his father was since he looked nothing like the momma cat or his littermates. Of course, we don't know who their father was either. Such is the way of cats.

And true to his namesake, he didn't vanish into the force upon his death either, his body had to be dragged out of the street by Grampa-Wan while I blocked traffic with the pickup...*sigh*

I just happened to go out front to dump some stuff into the recycle bin and saw him lying in the street... did I ever have a bad feeling about something then!! A bad feeling that I might recognize that dead cat... I got as close as I could and sure enough I saw the few white hairs he had on his tummy... but it was dark, and he was a black cat, so I was still hoping it wasn't him since I couldn't see his red collar...

Back into the hut for a flashlight and Grampa-Wan, and then retrieval of the body... as I parked the landspeeder back in the driveway I was STILL hoping it wasn't Vader... and his collar was missing, but sadly it was him...

We were mostly worried about getting him out of sight before our youngest Padawan came home... he was not happy to say the least, but at least he was spared the sight of the body...

Every now and then I hear "*sob* ... Vader... sniff" or "I miss Vader (sniff)" which is not something I ever thought I'd hear, at least not in the context of Star Wars! But in this case, it's touching... but with the advantage of youth, Padawan Jakester goes on about his life....And Padawan Tyler is busy enjoying his new life on Endor, so he will adjust...

And in the advantage of middle age I try not to get too attached to pets, even the sweet, loving ones, since they tend to come and go throughout life... I'm more concerned for the Padawans... and it's not like there's a shortage of cats around here...!!!!

MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU ALWAYS, VADER!

A Brief Pause for a Two-Line Blog (5/16/2006)

Is anyone out there? I got something to say! I know that's poor grammer....and I wonder if anyone ever told Anakin it's "better to burn out than fade away...?"

Originally posted at starwars.com on May 19, 2006.


Is anyone at starwars.com paying any attention to starwars.com?

How many days in a row do we have to look at that picture of Anakin Dynamite on the link to the Fan Films? Not only is that guy UGLY, but that's a STUPID example of a fan film! I'd rather be sensory deprived! It isn't that hard to change the damn picture... a decent programmer would have it chagne automatically every few hours...

And for my second line, WHEN are we getting a new episode of a Visit to Rancho Ob-Wan? "New Video Now Playing" it says....tease...

Ok, it wasn't really two lines, just two complaints...

Thank you for this opportunity, I'm shutting up now...

Granny-Wan's Holiday Special (Mothers Day 2006)

A Tribute to The Great One... A Love Affair with Technology... Why isn't George's birthday a holiday?

Originally posted at starwars.com on May 12, 2006 (Mothers Day & GL's Birthday)

Shouldn't George's birthday be a holiday? Not just a national holiday, but also a Galactic Holiday!

Is it Mother's Day...or is it Mothers' Day? My older grandson named my mother "The Great One" instead of Great-Grandma when he was about 3...

I'm really here today to say: MY MOM IS TERRIFIC! And she'll never see this because I'm not going to tell her it's here... it would spoil the surprise of her gift...

I won't see her until June and I want it to be a surprise, so I told her I got her something that I have to deliver personally, and I promised she'd really like...and she said I was definitely my father's daughter in that he loved surprises... that was a great compliment to me!

And she won't find this on her own because she doesn't "get" Star Wars... or anything SciFi for that matter... I've tried to explain that Star Wars is so much more than SciFi, but then, she's tried to explain knitting to me a dozen times and it doesn't take...(I can visualize where the yarn and the needles are supposed to go, but I can't make my hands do the deed!) At least I can make pancakes like she does...and I learned how to be a terrific Grandmother...

Anyway, in spite of not understanding SciFi, she taught us all that loving something that's fun is a good thing! In the fourth grade it was "The Man from U.N.C.L.E." and in the fifth grade it was "Star Trek." She never told me I couldn't be a spy or the captain of a starship or anything else I thought up...

I really admire my mom because she survived my childhood... Let's just put it this way, if I'd been my mother, I wouldn't have survived to adulthood... (Which just happened this year, I think)

What I really wanted to give her was the gift of time travel... I want to go back to the 60s and not be such a difficult child! Not that I was bad, or got into trouble... I was just difficult... I was bored in school (too smart for my own good), too emotional (still am), thought too much (still do), and got silly opinions into my head... (Like when I was 9 and decided everyone from California was a sissy...) I've pretty much overcome that particular failing, or at least I know how to keep my silly ideas to myself! (With age comes a greater understanding of the difference between Knowledge and Wisdom...)

So I really wanted to get her something special for a gift that she would never buy herself... she has a houseful of stuff already... (She still has some of her wedding gifts from 1941!) And something USEFUL... She's had the same PC since 1998, and I'm constantly trying to troubleshoot it through email or over the phone... every time I visit, I fix it... so I got her a new computer... that's the big surprise...

Technology is so amazing, my first PC cost $900... it ran at a blazing speed of 12 MHz and had a 10 MB hard drive, a 3.5" floppy drive, 640 K of RAM (that "K" is not a typo) and a green screen monitor... 6 years later I bought a new computer for $900... it had a color monitor, ran at 40 MHz, had two Megs of RAM and a modem... It was so hot ... I kept that PC for 5 years, although by then the only thing left that was original was a few wires... the PC I bought then ran at 350 MHz, had 128 Megs of RAM, a CD Drive, and a 40 MB hard drive... and it cost about $900... everything had gotten better and faster, and had a lot more stuff on it for the same price... my current desktop I bought used for $500 and then spent probably $400 on upgrades.... You do the math... {GRIN}

Two weeks ago I went to dell.com and ordered up a new desktop system for Mom and a new laptop for me... and if I hadn't made any additions to them the total for BOTH of them together would have been about... you guessed it... $900... (May Sith Lightning strike me if I'm lying!)? And we're talking about GHz of speed, Gigabytes of hard drive space, built in modems & networking, stereo sound, flat panel monitor for the desktop... the laptop has wireless networking that picked up the DSL router off my desktop without me having to do anything!

I wish I could live another 100 years just to see what technology will bring to the future... and to the Star Wars Universe!

Happy Mother's Day to all you moms and grammas, and happy Lucas Day to all of us!

May the Force be with us all...

Episode Six: A Lot of Things Mean Little... (5/12/2006)

...But little things can mean a lot...A night on a Medstar... Jedi in Jammies...Is California in a GFFA?

Originally posted on the OS on May 12, 2006.

I haven't been writing or replying lately because I haven't been able to sit at the computer... even my shiny new laptop, which arrived 10 days ahead of schedule, thank you Dell, wasn't a help, since it's hard to type while lying on one's side... but it turned out to be nothing serious... just killer back spasms, which I rated about one-point-five point below labor pains...

Such an adventure going aboard the Medstar (other people know it as a hospital) on a Saturday night... just as my husband said it was awfully quiet in there we heard a voice from down the hall shout "Don't touch me, I want my lawyer!" Our local ER is new... nice shiny, modern equipment... cable TV... monitors and fittings and cables and wires coming out of the walls and ceiling...especially in the CT room, with it's talking machine... I expected 21B to come in to see me... instead I got Dr. Jones...at least he didn't try to dig me up like Indiana would on finding such an old fossil...

There are little things that bug me in Star Wars.
I don't like nitpicking the movies, I love them too much... but there are little things....

I was the only person who snickered when Anakin said, "He was an unarmed prisoner..." Of course he was unarmed, Anakin, you just cut both his arms off!

Then there's Padme's balcony... a lot of people were bothered by the cheesy dialogue, but not me... it just sounded like two young people in love saying silly things like young people in love do... what bugged me was Anakin's wardrobe... Padme's in her nightie, she's let her hair down, she looks relaxed and happy... and Anakin's standing there, totally uptight, and he's still wearing ALL his Jedi gear! You'd think after the day he'd just had he would really want to get out of all that leather, have a hot shower and kick back in his Jammies...

Is California in a galaxy far, far away?
Remember, that's where George Lucas was born... and me, too, but no one cares... and my youngling who is five thinks Naboo is Sea World... sometimes when I remember my childhood, it seems like a loooooong time ago in a GFFA... A Time Before Star Wars... sounds like a subject for another blog...

May the Force be with us all!

Episode Five: Attack of the Action Figures! (5/2/2006)

Originally posted at the OS on May 2, 2006

Attack of the Action Figures...Revenge of the Trailers: YOU'LL LAUGH, YOU'LL CRY, YOU'LL KISS THREE BUCKS GOODBYE... Memories from a long, LONG, time ago, in a state not too far away...

I spent the afternoon photographing Star Wars Action Figures for Ebay ...those things are annoying to photograph... all that shiny plastic in the packaging reflects light... natural light, overhead light, strobe light... didn't matter, so I finally said the h-e-l-l with it and used the flash... and the pictures looked pretty good... on full screen, but shrink them down to Ebay size and they're crap! R2-D2 looks like stapler...but the see-through Darth Sidious came out better than I expected... I kept thinking how much fun it would be to take them all out of the packages and stage my own little movie scenes... but no, no fun for me today... sigh...

Well anyway...while I was snapping away, memories of Christmas long ago came over me... not the Christmas of the Infamous Empty Box, but the First Christmas of Action Figures... Beginning with the first week in November 1978, I worked the Christmas season at Toys R Us. Right off the bat I was discouraged because I was assigned to the dolls aisle... puleeze... but The Force was with me on my first day, because another young mother was moaning that she'd been assigned to one of the "boys toys" aisles and she had a daughter... and didn't I have a little boy? Well, my son was too young for that sort of toy, but I said "Sure! You want to trade?"

I passed my days in the Star Wars aisle... oh, there were a few other toys in that section, but they didn't need the attention of a full time stocker... There were other Star Wars toys there, too... and I remember lovingly straightening them on their shelves each morning, and throughout the day, reading the packages, and explaining them to befuddled parents. They must have thought I had received special training or something.... HA!

The thing is, I can't remember now what those toys were... as my son got older he had a lot of Star Wars toys, and his sons have a lot of Star Wars toys, and they've all become a blur in my mind. But, I remember those ACTION FIGURES!

Every morning the pegs would be bare of figures, and I'd wait for the truck from the warehouse to see if we'd get any more... I sorted them out and hung them up, and re-hung them up 10 times a day as people tore through them looking for Luke Skywalker or R2-D2...the closer it got to Christmas, the more desperate the parents became to find any ACTION FIGURES... there were only 12, I think... Luke, Han, Leia, Ben Kenobi, R2 & 3PO, Chewbacca, a Stormtrooper, a Jawa, a Sandpeople-person, an Imperial Officer and of course our favorite baddie, Darth Vader... I just saw something in the Star Wars shop about the 500th figure... who knew?

By Mid-December it seemed safer to just open the box and throw it out onto the floor from the back room and not go out there myself... the trick was to carry a handful out at a time so not to be overwhelmed by crazed shoppers... maybe I should have used The Force to levitate those things out to the rack...

The day after Christmas I was put to work writing refunds... we had scanning registers in those days, but refunds had to be written out by hand first... anyway, I don't remember a single Star Wars action figure being returned... two days after that I had to go back to my aisle and it was decimated... a few Jawas and a Imperial left... Sad... Eventually it was restocked, but long after I was gone.


LATER THAT SAME LIFETIME

Fast forward to summer, 1980...Episode 5? What do you mean Episode FIVE?

I'm standing in line to see The Empire Strikes Back at the Marin Cinema (I think that's what it was called) in Corte Madera, California, when a car full of teenagers roars by on the street out front... a guy sticks his head out the window and yells at the top of his voice: "Darth Vader is Luke Skywalker's father!" Looking back I can only think, "Man, you don't know the half of it...."

I bought a car with a hatchback that summer and my son, who was three, liked to climb out the back every time we stopped somewhere... there was an inside release lever that I could use to pop it open... so whenever he wanted out he would tell me "open the top hatch!"


SPRING OF 1983... I got into an argument at work on whether it's "Revenge of the Jedi" or "Return of the Jedi" LOL... I'd seen a trailer that called it "Revenge..." we settled the argument by deciding that it was going to be really cool no matter what it was called...

And it was! We went on Opening Day, and I had to get my son out of school early... at the end of the school year his teacher told him he was lucky to have parents who gave him "such interesting experiences."

And now I have that "Revenge" trailer on DVD... after we saw ROTS last year, my grandson, Tyler-Wan, wanted to see the OT again... I had videotapes, but I decided to splurge on the DVD box set... He was very amused at the trailers from those days... the tone of them was a lot different. Then of course we had to watch "Hardware Wars" again...

Now that I'm done shaking my head over the variety and the sheer number of today's Action Figures, I'm going off to bed, where I will probably dream of little plastic battle droids fighting little plastic Jedi Knights on my kitchen countertops... with tiny little plastic lightsabers and blasters... with salt & pepper, probably...

May THE FORCE be with us all!

Episode 4: ...And in Star Wars, Truth! (4/23/2006)

First posted on the OS on April 23, 2006.

There is truth in beauty, and in Star Wars, truth... Lines we'd like to hear in the next Special Editions...Star Wars pops up in the strangest places...

Part 1: Universal Truths

"I have a bad feeling about this!"
When I'm awakened in the middle of the night by flashing red, white & blue lights coming in my window, and I know it isn't the Fourth of July...

"What a piece of junk!"
Yes, but it's paid for and the insurance is cheap.

"This war represents a failure to listen."
The younglings are fighting over the channel changer and I know their mom told them to turn the TV OFF...

"What I told you was true, from a certain point of view."This one never gets old... we learn it from out parents who learned it from theirs, and we pass it on down the line... today my youngest Padawan asked me "What's a fib?"

"You're going down a path I can't follow!"
Just because all your friends are turning to the dark side, doesn't mean you have to do it, too.

"The ability to speak does not make you intelligent."
I know, I married into a talkative family...

"It's not over yet!"
Oh, I really hope not!


Part 2: You got something to say?

Episode I:

Qui-Gon: "Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi."
Obi-Wan: "So, YOU'RE the evil I keep sensing!" (whips out his lightsaber...)

Episode II:
Mace: "This party's over... and I'll teach you to not invite the Jedi!!!!!!"

Episode III:

Padme: "Oh Anakin, I've missed you!"
Anakin, hugging her: "I can tell, you've really been hitting the Ben & Jerry's while I was away."

Obi-Wan: "I have trained you since you were a small boy, I have taught you everything I know... except how to beat me in a lightsaber duel... heh-heh..."

Padme: "You're going down a path I can't follow... especially in my condition, you know how hard it is for a pregnant woman to put on knee boots???"

Obi-Wan: "You were my brother, Anakin, I loved you."
Anakin: "... oh man, I'm on fire..."
(thanks to Padawan Tyler for that one)

Episode IV:

Luke: "We could almost buy our own ship for that! And Old Ben here could just talk someone out of theirs for nothing...hey Ben, show him that hand wave trick..." (Obi-Wan proceeds to roll his eyes)


Episode V:

Rebel Officer: "Your Highness, the shield doors must be closed... are you trying to heat the whole neighborhood? You think we own the electric company?"

Yoda: "Slimy? Mud hole? My home this is!"
Luke: "And I wanted to get off the farm...."

Vader: "No, I am your father... and by the way, I killed your mother..."
Luke: "And you wonder why I never call?"

Episode VI:

Obi-Wan: "Yoda will always be with you... and he's going to keep an eye on you in case your sister decides to French kiss you again... oh, did I forget to mention that you have a sister?"

Part 3: Did you hear that?

In Stargate Atlantis, Col. Shepard says "R2, I really need you to get us off this autopilot...well, it was worth a try..."

In Stargate SG-1... the groups is discussing the probability of immaculate conception...
Vala: "Have you ever heard of such a thing?"
Col. Mitchell: "Well, just one time"
Teal'c: "Darth Vader!"


OKAY... this is part is short... (I'm busy, it's hot, I have a runny nose...)

Episode 3: Out of the Mouths of Younglings (4/20/2006)

First posted on the OS on April 20, 2006... my first time on the home page!

Padawns say that darndest things...Is the Empire hiding in my neighborhood? The younglings have Jedi cats...

First off, I have to backtrack a little... yesterday I related to you my family's old movie joke... It started back in 1980, during our umpteenth trip to see The Empire Strikes Back. Just as the lights went down, and the 20th Century Fox fanfare started up, my sister looked at me and whispered "I've SEEN this movie!"

Well, it's come to my attention that not everyone GETS the joke... not to worry, I understand... my sister and I have twisted minds... and since I"m referring to it AGAIN later in this entry, I'll spell it out....: Either (1) The movie hasn't started yet so how do you KNOW you haven't seen it, there are 1000's of 20th Century Fox movies... or (2) it's a STAR WARS movie, so OF COURSE you've seen it!

My two Padawans are Tyler-Wan, who is 8, and Darth Jacob, 5. He's not really evil, but he does have this great mixture of guile and innocence.

Tyler is convinced I really can use The Force. He tries to sneak out of bed and tiptoe through the house and sneak up behind me when I'm at the computer, and I always hear him... I also know what he's going to say before he says it. Sadly, it isn't The Force, it's just that he's as twisted and weird as I am... He and I can do all the dialogue from the first 20 minutes of ROTS... we're working on our own version of the movie... check this out....

Jake, the 5 year-old, has a speech problem. He understands the language perfectly, and in every other way he's like any other five-year old, he just speaks like a 2 or 3 year old. So it was a proud Granny-Wan moment when he finally mastered "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away..." Then one day we were climbing the bleachers at a baseball game, and an older kid wearing a Star Wars shirt walks by, and Jake pipes up with "I've SEEN that movie!" Then I heard him tell his T-Ball coach "I have a bad feeling about this!"

Last December the house behind mine sprouted the neighborhood's first superweapon... a large, round, black object covered in Christmas lights elevated 10 feet above the roof... Tyler came in from the backyard to tell me "Come look! The DEATH STAR is outside!" One afternoon when Jake's school bus pulled up out front, Tyler said "Tell my mom Lord Vader's shuttle has arrived!"

They both were very helpful in naming our three kittens that were born last summer:

Sith Lightning (he's striped), Vader, Dark Lord of the Hiss (a black cat, of course), and Obi-Wan Katnobi...

That's all for now... maybe next time I'll actually write about Star Wars... nah...

Episode Two: Becoming a Fanatic (4/17/2006)

First posted on the OS on April 17, 2006.

How I became a fan, started a trend, discovered a Sith... and was undone by evil...

If something is worth doing, it's worth overdoing, at least as far as Star Wars is concerned. It really started big time for me after The Empire Strikes Back came out in 1980. My sister and I saw it together so many times that we started a family joke that has lasted until this day... It was about our 12th time in the theatre, I think, and just as the 20th Century Fox fanfare came on the screen, she turned to me and whispered, "I've SEEN this movie!" (more on that later when I talk about my two Padawans)

I was working the night shift in the back office of an amusement park that summer. Most of us had seen the movie, all of the cool ones of us at least... My best friend and I worked on a balky Apple computer, and we kept a figure of Yoda on top of the monitor to keep The Force with us. I once commented that those of us who were best at our jobs were "Jedi" , and a trend was born... for five years after that we called the best of the best "Jedi".

It really intensified after Return of the Jedi was released in 1983. People left the job, and new people came along, but most everyone fell into the the fun. At last I was a trendsetter!

In 1985 my husband and I took off work, took our son out of school, and went to San Francisco to see the Trilogy played together at the Coronet Theatre. It wasn't just a trip to the movies, we had to get up at 4:30 am to get there a 6am to get in line to buy tickets. The box office opened at 8, the theatre at 2 and the first show was at 4. So, we spent most of the day waiting in lines to see three movies we'd already seen several times before. It was a blast! {grin} One of my employees was there, too, and he was interviewed by the local news... they were asking people "aren't you afraid someone will see you on TV?" and he replied "It's OK for me, my boss is here!" At one point they panned the TV camera along the line and told us to "act normal" and we all started laughing...

Then the dark times came.... I acquired a Sith for a boss... My ROTJ poster offended him....(he should have seen my dining room!) He was one of those people who just didn't get it... once one of my more clever employees wrote a story about the Evil Empire and the Jedi Master (me) and Darth XXXX (him) and posted it on the bulletin board... It was hilarious.... 3 years later we're in litigation, and they're trying to make ME look like the evil one and they actually introduced that story into evidence... it was pathetically funny when they asked a witness if they recalled that I was a "really big Star Wars fan..." And that is relevant how??? Ha, I should have nailed them for violating my religious rights as a Jedi...

So, that's how I discovered the Dark Side at the age of 29, after living a sheltered life among other Jedi.... {wink} Blindsided by a Sith! And I sensed a plot to destroy me, too... just couldn't do anything about it, rather like Mace Windu...

So, is any of the relevant now? I don't know, but it's the story of a long time Star Wars fanatic and how it affected my life.

So, remember, if it's worth doing, it's worth overdoing...

And may the Force be with us all.

Episode One: My First Entry (4/17/2006)

First posted at the OS on April 17, 2006

For all bloggers, there is a first... I have studied the masters here for many weeks, now this is my Knighthood Trial...

First off, I think the word "blog" is ridiculous... are we all so lazy we can't type "web log"? Really it's not even a "log" since a log is a record of events... these are just spaces for us to write our thoughts for the whole world to read...! But I will go with the flow, change with the times, be cool...

This is my first blog. (There, I said it. I'm over it, let's move on.)

I first saw Star Wars in 1977. It wasn't called A New Hope then, it was just called Star Wars. I loved it. I saw it again and again. And when it was re-released I saw it again. I've seen them all several times now. More than I can count. How can I melt 29 years into a few paragraphs...

MY FAVORITE JEDI:
Obi-Wan Kenobi. He's smart, cool, loyal, dedicated, honest, and deadly with a lightsaber. He's easy on the eyes, too. When I was younger I was hot for Luke Skywalker, but I've gotten a lot older and Obi-Wan's gotten a lot younger, so I've switched... loyalty is one of Obi-Wan's virtues, not mine...

MY FAVORITE MOVIE
Prequel: 3 Original: 5

UNFORGETTABLE MOMENT (one of many)
Anakin marching the clone troopers up the steps of the Jedi Temple, with the city lights in the background...

BEST LINE FOR A JEDI
I have a bad feeling about this!

BIGGEST DUH! LINE
I sense a plot to destroy the Jedi...

BEST LINE FOR A DROID
Die, Jedi dogs...Oh! What am I saying?

BEST MOVIE NOVELIZATION
Revenge of the Sith

BEST NOVEL
Labyrinth of Evil
Darth Maul, Shadow Hunter being second

WORST NOVEL
I, Jedi
Darksaber being a close second

So, comments? I have a lot more to say, of course... but I won't say it all at once! For which I'm sure you will all rejoice...


MAY THE FORCE BE WITH US ALL!